4) Hat Boner – The Cat In The Hat (2003)
Mike Myer’s adaptation of The Cat in the Hat had a couple of issues. Poor scripting, hideous acting, terrible songs, grotesque set design, irritating child-actors, wooden dialogue… ok, maybe more than a couple, but parents in particular were most outraged by the movie’s PG rating, due to the high amount of adult content that included references to a “dirty hoe” and the spelling of shit.
One particular joke is even less subtle than the others, though. Case in point. Upon seeing a family picture of Conrad and Sally’s mother, the Cat in the Hat gets a little bit too excited, causing his hat to become stiff and long, complete with a comical “boing!” noise. When Conrad explains that the picture is of his mother, the Cat in the Hat replies, “Awkward, yeah.”
Couldn’t agree more, you dirty little pussy.
3) Adult Wrestling – Dennis The Menace (1993)
It must be hard to enjoy an active sex life as a parent. When do you ever find the time to appreciate your partner alone without the children around? For Dennis the Menace’s parents, that time is Sunday morning. Unfortunately, Dennis may have seen a little bit more than was intended…
While describing his father to Mrs. Wilson, Dennis says that “the only time he isn’t happy is on Sunday morning when he and my mom wrestle. They kind of like to be alone when they do that. I think it’s ’cause they take off their shirts and then they start to make funny noises.”
A reminder that maybe nighttime sex is your best bet once kids are in the house… or weekend sleepovers… or maybe Dennis’s parents are actually professional wrestlers training and I just have a filthy mind.
Yeah, that must be it…
Published: Dec 9, 2014 11:08 pm