Televisions – (Poltergeist/A Nightmare On Elm Street)
Televisions – every American has them, and some have multiple. There’s the living room TV, the bedroom TV, the basement TV, the kitchen TV, the toilet TV, the bathtub TV – hell, we’ve even got TVs in our cars and on our phones. But while everyone sees this as a major advancement in entertainment, I’m now horrified every waking hour of my day. Thanks a lot, technology.
Why am I scared? Haven’t you people seen movies like Poltergeist, A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, or The Ring?! Killers use America’s favorite time-waster as a distraction all the time, sometimes even turning the televisions against us by dragging their victims into the set or extracting what the viewer is watching. This is especially terrifying for someone who watches as many horror movies myself. What’s to say Freddy won’t pop out of my set and grab me with his cable-wire arms and slam me head-first into the screen!? Sorry, I’m perfectly fine in reality. No need to cross the 4th wall into the programs I’m watching.
I watch TV for a reason – because each show is fictitious and can’t hurt me. Horror movies have of course ruined that for me, turning the device which delivers my cinematic goodness into a devil appliance I’ll never trust again.
