The 10 Worst Movies Of 2013 - Part 6
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Jaden Smith, thinking about clouds.

The 10 Worst Movies Of 2013

What makes a movie one of the worst of the year? One might think it’s the irrepressible stink of terribleness, but most crummy movies usually have some redeeming qualities, like a cool action sequence, awesome special effects, or Kevin Spacey.
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[h2]6) Machete Kills[/h2]

Danny Trejo in Machete Kills

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Looking back, I think Robert Rodriguez should have taken the middling success of the first Machete as a sign that he should get out of the grindhouse business. In Machete Kills, Rodriguez didn’t so much as double down on people’s love of vintage exploitation cinema as phone in a lazy, standard sequel effort that banked on the bet that people wanted to see a lot of well-known actors camp it up.

Mel Gibson seemed like he was having a good time, as for once no one was focused on his off-screen antics from a few years ago, but a movie has to be about more than career rehab. As to what the point of Machete Kills was, beyond getting hot actresses to look hot and getting serious actors to play funny, I don’t know.

Rodriguez doesn’t even try to make the film look vintage, all the supposedly shocking violence seemed unimaginative, and the entire endeavour seemed like a set-up for a third Machete movie that now seems destined to never happen. Honestly, what was it about this that demanded Rodriguez’s attention before making the long-awaited Sin City sequel? Clearly his heart wasn’t in it, so it begs the question, does Danny Trejo has some kind of Svengali effect on Rodriguez? And if he does, does that mean we’ll get the inevitable Machete Kills Again… In Space? Lord, I hope not. Take a look at the (faux) trailer for it below and I think you’ll agree.


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