Ranking The 11 Shots From The Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer

After weeks of speculation, the first footage for J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Force Awakens is now available for viewing. Was it worth the hype? Did it make us turn from the comfortingly dismissive cynicism of the Dark side toward the fanboyish optimism of the Light? The consensus: yeah, pretty much. Which is a bit surprising, considering how little of a trailer it actually is. At only 11 shots long, is there much of anything that we can infer about the new movie’s plot, or how good it’s going to be? The consensus: no, but that’s okay. This is a teaser trailer designed to get you excited about a new Star Wars, and it totally accomplishes that. If this was the only promotional footage ever shown for Episode VII, it’d be enough to make it one of the biggest films of 2015. But just because there’s not much of substance here doesn’t mean we can’t shamelessly pick apart those 11 fleeting shots, and gauge how each contributes to hyping up Star Wars fans both young and old. Using as much scientific accuracy as an actual Star Wars film, I’ve calculated to the parsec what the best shots of the trailer are, according to the only two criteria that matter: Nostalgia Bait and Neat New Stuff. 11) Pairs of Troopers Nostalgia Bait: 20/100 Neat New Stuff: 10/100 There’s a reason this shot is smack dab in the middle of the trailer, and following on the heels of one of the biggest reveals: it’s boring as sin. Not only do Stormtrooper leggings make for the least indelible part of the uniform, but a dropship door opening sequence has a lot to live up to in a year that gave us Godzilla. If there’s one microsecond in this trailer where it’s okay to blink, it’s this one. 10) You May Fire When Ready Nostalgia Bait: 30/100 Neat New Stuff: 10/100 This shot of a Stormtrooper readying their blaster rifle (which has a little black insert spliced in that we’ll attribute to the ship’s faulty lighting) just barely stays out of the doghouse occupied by the snoozefest shot that follows it. Both are coasting on the nostalgia high of the Trooper reveal that opens this section of the trailer, but this one at least features another iconic piece of Star Wars paraphernalia. To paraphrase Godard, all you need to make a Star Wars is a blaster rifle and a girl. 9) Hello, Daisy Ridley Nostalgia Bait: 10/100 Neat New Stuff: 50/100 And there’s the girl! British actress Daisy Ridley makes her entrance into the Star Wars canon in style, sporting Sandspeeder-appropriate garb that’s more practical than fashionable. Why does she look back nervously before taking off in a hurry? Who knows! But as one of only four actual people to appear in the trailer, this makes for a fine introduction to some of the third trilogy’s new blood. The dramatic zoom from medium shot to closeup lets us know that Ridley’s face is one we’ll want to be familiar with before seeing the rest of the film. 8) Flight of the X-Wings Nostalgia Bait: 40/100 Neat New Stuff: 30/100 Despite replicating the two things X-Wings are known for (flying low to the surface, looking cool), this shot loses points for being the first to reveal the new computer generated look of the film’s ships. They actually look pretty nice, but it’s an adjustment for any old school Star Wars fan to see the Rebel Alliance’s most iconic aircraft constructed not from models, but (very detailed) pixels. The shot does get bonus comedy points for using deep focus in such a way that you can just as easily see the three ships as being on different planes as you can imagine you’re watching a stacking doll of variably sized X-Wings. 7) Driving Miss Daisy Nostalgia Bait: 40/100 Neat New Stuff: 40/100 Ridley’s big profile shot is followed up with something a little more expansive. The Speeder she rides off on into one of Tatooine’s sunsets is a pleasant reminder of how part of what’s charming about Star Wars is how silly and counterintuitive the ship designs are. A giant orange USB stick is hardly the sleekest or sexiest vehicle out there, but it’s the weathered paint job on the hover-jalopy that gives it plenty of personality. The closing swing round to show Ridley heading towards a sparsely populated Tatooine horizon leaves you wondering who she’s in such a hurry to see (or get away from). 6) Red VII, Reporting In Nostalgia Bait: 70/100 Neat New Stuff: 20/100 Considering roughly half of its climax is shot looking into the cockpit of an X-Wing, A New Hope vibes are felt strongly with this one. Questions abound from a half-second of footage: Who is this pilot played by Oscar Isaac? Is he switching off his targeting computer? Was that an R2 droid whirring away in his earpiece? Few can say, but he’s dressed like an X-Wing pilot and holding a flight stick, and we like seeing those things because they were in the other movie. The paintjob on the helmet does look a little fresher than we’re used to though, so perhaps the Rebels have gone through another cycle of flight uniforms since last we saw them. 5) The Droid Who's Looking for Something Nostalgia Bait: 60/100 Neat New Stuff: 50/100 This one’s a double-whammy of “hey, remember this?” Sure, a droid bleeping and blooping passed a scrapheap makes you think of R2 and C-3PO being purchased from the Jawa junk sale at the start of A New Hope. But the design of this little guy is more influenced by the prequels, with his tiny, bowl-shaped head and rotating spherical body. Like everyone else in the trailer, the round claptrap seems concerned about something, but setting aside two seconds for a droid amidst an epic conflict means it may yet have some importance. It’s part of what makes Star Wars Star Wars: the lowliest creature (even a robotic casino camera stuck to a FIFA football) can have an impact. 4) Trooper Reveal Nostalgia Bait: 90/100 Neat New Stuff: 30/100 Closing out the first act of the trailer with a bang, the reveal of the Stormtroopers marks the point where everyone knows without question they’re watching a trailer for a Star Wars movie. For what were essentially useless henchmen in the original trilogy, the return of the Stormtroopers is a celebratory one, and says a lot about the state of the galaxy we ourselves will be returning to. Plus, the slight redesign on the helmets helps separate old from new. Is the teardrop-style black bar around the jawline meant to imply the Troopers are still really sad about the Emperor dying, or that they all killed a man in space prison? Only time will tell. 3) That’s Our Boy(ega) Nostalgia Bait: 70/100 Neat New Stuff: 70/100 Not going to lie: when the trailer opened with (what sounds like) Max von Sydow talking about the “awakening,” I giggled a bit, mainly because the trailer was setting itself up exactly like the one for Star Trek Into Darkness. Baritone European dudes issuing vague warnings just kind of run together. The Tunisian landscape is nice and all, but the expectation set by the first few seconds of the trailer is for a prolonged tease. But then John Boyega pops up from the bottom of the frame, accompanied by the sting of a John Williams horn section, and what starts off as a self-important nostalgia trip gets a much-needed kick in the pants. At 14 seconds in length, this is easily the longest shot of the entire trailer, and the one responsible for setting the tone for what’s to follow. Alone, panicked, and helmetless, Boyega’s trooper instantly adds a messy human element to a trailer that could have gotten by on CG glory shots. As with Ridley, Boyega’s presence firmly establishes that the new trilogy is just as much about adding to the Star Wars legacy as it is revisiting it. 2) Check This Sith Out Nostalgia Bait: 60/100 Neat New Stuff: 90/100 NEW LIGHTSABER! NEW LIGHTSABER! While lightsaber fetishization will never really top the reveal of Darth Maul’s double-bladed one in The Phantom Menace, the unveiled hilted lightsaber certainly tries. Beyond just a design change, the saber itself glows and crackles with intensity both familiar and novel. Does it indicate this particular lightsaber hasn’t been wielded in awhile, or that computers can add a lot more particle effects to a laser sword these days? Maybe both. Presumably, this is the new Sith character that Adam Driver is reported to be playing, and like everyone else in the trailer, he seems to be moving with purpose. The snow obviously recalls Empire’s frozen planet of Hoth, but the presence of trees would indicate we’re somewhere else entirely. Coupled with Sydow’s narration that clearly labels this character as part of the Dark Side, this easily could have been the OMG sendoff for the entire trailer. 1) New Millennium, Same Millennium Falcon Nostalgia Bait: 99/100 Neat New Stuff: 60/100 There it is. There’s the reason this movie is going to make at least half a billion dollars next year. This trailer could have been a two-second shot of the Falcon’s exhaust port, and that would have been enough. Instead, the triumphant closing shot of the trailer shows the old girl off in all her glory, 31 years after we last saw her in Return of the Jedi. The inverted pan around the Millennium Falcon mid-flight makes a case for the camera trickery allowed by computer-generated effects (while showing off the Falcon’s new satellite dish), and the slight rearrangement on Williams’ classic main theme reinforces the feeling of “what’s old is new again.” Why is the Falcon engaging Tiefighters this close to Tatooine’s surface? Impossible to tell. What is this movie even going to be about? Doesn’t matter. Star Wars: The Force Awakens has the ship, and the music. For a lot of people, that’ll be enough to get their butts into a theatre seat come December of next year.