Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: 2013 Horror Characters We’d Love To See Return Someday

Nato – Stitches the Clown from Stitches

It’s about damn time a new slasher villain was born! Part Freddy Krueger, part Shakes the clown, Ross Noble’s character Stitches is just begging to be a franchise mainstay thanks to awesomely bad one-liners, consistently memorable kills, and a hilarious thirst for the blood of partying teenagers. Writer/director Conor McMahon has a horror comedy goldmine on his hands, and if I had my way, I’d be enjoying Ross Noble in costume every single year.

For those of you who haven’t seen Stitches yet (AND WHY HAVEN’T YOU!?), Ross Noble plays a children’s party clown who accidentally dies at the hands of some bratty kids, but apparently there’s some clown cult with this crazy graveyard ritual – long story short, Stitches is an undead clown out for revenge. After the kiddies are all grown up, Stitches crashes poor Tom’s impromptu house party, and one by one the body count rises – brutally. There’s some ice cream scooping, inflation, umbrella impaling – the practical effects match 2013’s best, and for those of you who don’t know, I’m a BIG supporter of practical effects. CGI is fake, glossy, and cheap. Kudos to Conor McMahon for going the extra mile for some genre-invigorating deaths.

Whether you love clowns or hate ’em, everyone should give Stitches a chance, and see why he deserves to rise once again.