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Five Up/Five Down: The Best And Worst Of 2013 Horror So Far

Here we are, about halfway through another year of horror movies, and I'm happy to report things are going rather swimmingly. 2012 was a bit of a let down honestly, as I found more movies to hate than love. Looking back on the crop of films I've already sat through in 2013 though, I can honestly admit the quality is better than expected (so far). Much, much better actually, considering how many remakes have been pushed out (so far). This year could have easily spiraled into a dark, depressing slump of continually bad Hollywood remakes, but a few directors have redefined the way we look at these inevitable remakes and reboots. Mix that with some gutsy, inventive films that dare to push boundaries, and the 2013 horror game is shaping up pretty damn well.

[h2]3) John Dies At The End
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Adapting David Wong’s (pseudonym for Cracked.com Senior Editor Jason Pargin) novel was never going to be easy, but writer/director Don Coscarelli pulled it off with ease. Well, OK, I won’t say with ease, because production was no cakewalk, but the blend of meat monsters, soy sauce, and independent creativity made John Dies At The End a must-see for fans of the book or horror fans looking for something wildly different.

Take that creativity and then add in brilliant performances from Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, and Paul Giamatti (surprise, surprise), and you’ve got some time altering craziness that can’t really be compared to any film. Ever wanted to know if there are different realities going on around you? Well, our characters take a hit of a brand new drug called Soy Sauce, and their minds are opened to a new, terrifying world that we get to experience first hand. Coscarelli’s film is a mindf#cking in the best of ways, with insanely gory twists one might not be ready for.

[h2]2) Evil Dead[/h2] Evil-Dead-Remake-Tongue-Split

I’m not sure how I haven’t gotten sick of talking about Fede Alvarez’s Evil Dead yet, but I haven’t. Every time this title is brought up, a rush of adrenaline comes over me and I enter the conversation like I’m kicking a door down while shredding an epic guitar solo. Entrance made, Evil Dead is f#cking awesome, your argument is invalid, and just like that I’m gone, running into the night like some horror obsessed maniac. Probably not the best approach, but I can’t contain myself. Something about this year’s Evil Dead just possesses me, making me not ashamed in the least to boast my Deadite status.

Alvarez nailed this “remake” in so many ways, I don’t think it’s possible to really condense them all for this article – but I’ll give it the old college try!

Fede Alvarez was smart enough to invent content that makes Evil Dead a completely stand-alone film, the script doesn’t cash in on Raimi’s original for a cheap shot for shot revamp, Alvarez pushed so hard he originally got a NC-17 rating, he gets back to the terrifying tone Raimi intended his original Evil Dead to have, Jane Levy gives a monstrous performance as main character Mia, Fede still shows nostalgic respect to Raimi’s original, and overall, Fede Alvarez made recent mainstream horror films look like little bitches. Oh, and the grotesque practical effects! And the killer Deadite make-up! Ugh, going away now, otherwise I won’t shut up. JUST GO SEE EVIL DEAD.