While Evil Dead and Maniac showed us how remakes and reboots could be done right, Texas Chainsaw 3D showed us everything we’d come to expect from current horror reboots. Not only was this heaping steamer a waste of time, but it had the audacity to write itself as a direct follow-up to Tobe Hooper’s original film, basically saying “This is the only Texas Chainsaw sequel you need to care about. Forget the rest, we’re starting over!” No, it’s not worth the effort to care about. It’s not even a horror film you should care about.
Sure, Alexandra Daddario is a total babe, but this midriff-sporting scream queen couldn’t even make time pass quick enough, as Leatherface fans had to watch him be broken down and stripped of all terror. John Luessenhop’s swing at the genre has almost destroyed the character of Leatherface, driving the family aspect into the ground, but he also missed out on so many amazing opportunities to save his film. Case and point: the scene where Leatherface stumbles upon a carnival of innocent people. You’re really going to deprive us of a single noteworthy kill? Jeez, set him loose in a fun house or something at least, don’t just make him swing around the chainsaw like a spastic Fright Fest worker.
Texas Chainsaw 3D was lame, disappointing, and a waste of Leatherface’s time. Not every reboot can be an Evil Dead, I guess.
[h2]2) The Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts Of Georgia[/h2]
The Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts Of Georgia. Yes, let that title sink in. Not really sure why they had to keep Connecticut in the title, because you know, it takes place in Georgia, but if you saw the original, you’ve essentially seen its “sequel.” Aside from a creepy apparition thingy that likes sewing, Haunting 2 is like so many ghost stories involving imaginative children and the dumbfounded parents who won’t believe their gifted kin. I swear, if my kid ever claims to see an apparition, I’m throwing a shit-fit.
Aside from the one pretty baller scene above where a main character gets tied up in a pretty dusty scenario, there’s nothing to separate Haunting 2 from the most generic paranormal stories available. I take that back, all the ghosts are from the era of slavery, so some history is thrown into the mix, but even with the unique time-frame utilized, this run-of-the-mill sleeper won’t be keeping you up at night. Or even during the film.
