1. A Thousand Words (Dir. Brian Robbins)
The movie: A Thousand Words stars Eddie Murphy as a fast-talking literary agent who isn’t afraid to bend the truth to get what he wants. A magical tree appears with 1000 leaves on it, a clumsy symbol used to explain that Murphy only has 1000 words left in him for some reason, and he’ll die when he’s uttered them all. Um. What?
Why it’s awful: The fact that this steaming pile of Hollywood bullshit has been gestating in the Dreamworks’ archives for four years was good enough reason to suspect it’d be a tragedy from the off-set, but there’s really no explaining just how bad A Thousand Words actually is, ‘less you realise that the premise involves Eddie Murphy not being able to speak.
Yes, an actor renowned for his motor-mouthed tendencies and recognisable voice is stripped of his greatest assest, meaning that we’re just watching somebody doing stuff, limiting his vocals, and not saying anything amusing as a result. Whichever executive passed this script on to Murphy’s agent should be made to watch this thing on a never-ending loop until he or she agrees to personally refund everybody who paid to see such an ill-judged turd of a movie. They even left the four-year-old (and extremely dated) jokes in, which is bizarre, to say the least, considering that somebody must have watched this to make sure it still made sense.. Truly, the worst comedy of the year, and perhaps even the worst comedy of all-time. It’s that sucky.
Low point: Forget the movie… the fact that this thing has 0% on Rotten Tomatoes speaks volumes. Eddie Murphy needs to retire.
Agree or disagree with our choices for the worst comedy movies of 2012? Which comedy movies forced you to reconsider the act of being alive? Let us know in the comments section below.
