8 Film Franchises That Really Need To Die

As a fan of film, there's nothing sadder than watching flailing franchises spew out uninspired efforts to keep the box-office numbers ticking over. When the property becomes an obligation rather than a privilege, this is where courageous conversations need to be had. You know, the "it's time to say goodbye because you suck" speech.

Pirates Of The Caribbean

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Franchise entries: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006), Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

Why the hell do we keep throwing money at Pirates of the Caribbean? There’s simply nothing fun about it anymore. Even more insulting is we’re paying to watch Johnny Depp be Johnny Depp. Studios base their decisions on profit, and this property keeps bringing in the dough, so we’re doomed to get more of it.

Regardless of the critical panning the franchise receives, it always comes out on top and the filmmakers smile all the way to the bank. Heck, a slander campaign could be run for it and this abomination would somehow make money.

Bordering on generic and favoring style over substance, there’s no reason to get excited about another Pirates film. It’s time to stop feeding Captain Jack Sparrow’s rum addiction and consider carefully what we do with our money.

Likelihood of being cancelled: The last film made nearly $700 million, so no.


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Author
Sergio Pereira
SERGIO PEREIRA is a speculative fiction writer from Johannesburg, South Africa. He has a strong interest in comic books, film, music and comedy. When he's not reading or writing, he enjoys a game of Pro Evolution Soccer, watching football, catching up on films, and playing with his dog. His short stories have appeared in various magazines and anthologies, such as Devolution Z, Death Throes, Centum Press's 100 Voices, and Tales from the Lake: Vol. 3 from Crystal Lake Publishing.