RoboCop 3
When you think of RoboCop, you remember the outrageous violence and witty social commentary of the first two films. This is why RoboCop 3 doesn’t make any sense as it completely forgets what it’s supposed to be. Likewise, it didn’t help that the lead star, Peter Weller, was replaced by Robert John Burke, which proved to be a giant mistake.
The main reason this movie fails, though, is because it changed the formula to appeal to the wider audience. In 1987’s RoboCop, the titular hero was shooting bad guys in the taint, while in the third outing the violence evaporated into the PG-13 realm. This franchise was never intended for kids, but the money spoke louder than logic in this instance.
As much as it pains us to admit, watching an Adam Sandler film would’ve been a far more pleasant task than seeing this limping effort. When you talk about how the mighty have fallen, this is a prime example. But hey, at least the 2014 reboot was a relative return to form, right?
Condorman
Do you remember 1981’s Condorman? Chances are pretty high that your answer is no. Pandering to fans of Hawkman – without the actual DC superhero, of course – this film is a reminder of how Disney used to make some real snoozers back in the day. Crazy to imagine that now, isn’t it?
Putting aside the fact that Condorman soared about as high as a chicken, the story put you to sleep almost as soon as it began. Nothing about this action-comedy is even remotely entertaining – not even Michael Crawford’s ridiculous outfit that made him look more like a turkey than a condor.
Looking back, this is definitely one flick that can stay dead and buried in Disney’s magical vault. There are better ways to spend your time, like staring at a wall for 90 minutes, or doing laundry.
