9 Extremely Lame Horror Movie Monsters

There are perfectly decent horror films let down by their monsters; there are also perfectly decent monsters let down by their horror films. And then there are the films conceived with such spectacular stupidity that you wonder what the filmmakers thought they were doing. Was this ever going to be scary? Was it intended to be stupid? What are they thinking here?!

7) The Killer Shrews (1959)

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Speaking of gigantic, man-eating animals: shrews. If there’s anything less dangerous than a bunny, then I think shrews would qualify. That doesn’t stop filmmaker Ray Kellogg, though, who thought that this most terrifying rodent would make a good subject for a B-grade monster movie.

The action takes place on a remote island where Thorne Sherman (James Best, of Dukes of Hazzard fame) and his first mate Griswold dock to deliver supplies and wait out a storm. There they discover a small group of scientists living in a compound, who invite them in for cocktails. As with The Night of the Lepus, the scientists are trying to do good for humanity, performing experiments that will help to stave off world hunger by shrinking people, using shrews as test animals.

Guess what? THINGS GO HORRIBLY WRONG. The shrews are now gigantic, have eaten their entire food supply on the island, and plan to snack on the scientists and their new friends. Will our heroes be able to stay sober long enough to escape the killer shrews?

Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds managed to take the nature gone mad story and make it frightening and effective; not so much The Killer Shrews. Some of this has to do with the low budget of the movie, as the shrews are less gigantic rodents and more poodles with masks stuck on their face. The horror is slightly amped up by some speeches about the formidable and evil shrew, along with a hefty dose of scientific mumbo-jumbo, but even if the filmmakers had managed to conceive of better practical effects, they would still be asking us to fear shrews. Killer shrews, but shrews nonetheless.


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