No One Can Hear You Scream: Ranking The Alien Films

5) Alien: Resurrection (1997)

Five years on from the release of Alien 3, 20th Century Fox couldn’t let a cash cow run for the hills and the good execs decided to rustle life back in to the franchise. Resurrection opens on the premise that remnants of Ripley’s blood have been uncovered long after her death; blood that contains trace elements of the alien embryo living inside of her. The scientists at the United Systems Military (the new Weyland Yutani) create a clone of our favorite alien slayer and use Ripley’s body to reproduce the Xenomorph, too.

The basic set-up isn’t bad. But Joss Whedon’s script prefers slapstick fun over genuine horror, while directing duties are handled by an auteur better known for his work on the quirky Amelie. Something’s just off here, and Resurrection bears little resemblance to the original trilogy of films, sacrificing suspense for bombast.

Sure, there’s an ensemble cast made up of good actors (Winona Ryder, Ron Perlman to name just two), but the film’s principal star is transformed from believable heroine into a part-alien, part-human supersoldier replete with tepid one-liners at the ready. What made Ripley likable was that she was so human, so relatable, and much of that is lost in Whedon’s script.

Then there’s the Newborn (pictured above), Ripey’s alien “offspring.” I don’t know about you, but at this point, I decided to give up.