5 Things Brad Pitt Has Adopted That Have Made His Masculinity Incredibly Intimidating

Sometimes it seems as though the gods created Brad Pitt specifically as a check to keep self-conscious guys from becoming overconfident in themselves. This isn’t a bad thing. Dudes could stand to be taken down a peg from time to time. Everyone laments, and rightly so, the fact that women are constantly being compared to utterly impossible ideals, and that’s unlikely to stop any time soon. To even things out, maybe it’s just that we need more images in our culture that present men in ways that make us dudes feel like we can never measure up. That may present a host of other problems, but at least there’d be a more level playing field. This path toward equality is aided by movies like Magic Mike and stars like Brad Pitt. Maybe. Pitt has held the status of “too sexy” for over 20 years. He was first caught by the female gaze in 1991’s Thelma and Louise. He’s been around a long time. The guy turns 50 this year. And it’s not that his age hasn’t begun to show, but he’s grown into it in a fascinating and frustratingly attractive way. He’s not this hunky kid anymore (mercifully); he is, however, now this man who puts us all to shame. I mean what are we doing, guys, really. This is a guy who has transitioned from heartthrob to cool dad completely seamlessly, and even when he’s being ridiculous he’s kind of being awesome. People talk about their Nick Offermans and their Jon Hamms when it comes to overwhelming masculinity, and rightly so. There’s something to be said though about the longevity and the adaptability of Brad Pitt’s manliness. Here are 5 qualities Brad Pitt has developed over time and adopted to further establish his manhood. And I’m not even talking about the children he’s adopted. Although I could. Dude balances work and family like it’s nothing. Continue reading on the next page... 1) That stuck-out chin, opened mouth expression thing This is the new mannerism I noticed Pitt starting to do in Inglourious Basterds and Moneyball recently. It’s not that it’s necessarily a new thing he’s picked up—thinking back I’m pretty sure this was a face employed regularly in Fight Club and elsewhere—but when he was younger it just signified a certain youthful swagger. Now, it’s this gesture of authority and gravitas. Is it clear what I’m referring to? Aldo Raine did it a lot, as if he had a wad of chewing tobacco in his lower lip. He very well may have. But then again as Billy Beane, Pitt always seemed to be on the verge of a long sigh, inhaling deeply in through his mouth and exhaling through flared nostrils. Pursed lips throughout. And he sat like this, with this expression, as everyone around him was telling him how foolish he was being. It was a countenance that suggested a quiet but stubborn confidence, a refusal to compromise what he was convinced was a winning strategy for his baseball club. As Aldo, he had a little glimmer in his eye that made this confidence amusing and a little frightening, as if he had a certain degree of madness to his sly look. I’m not even sure how subtle this is, but it’s noticeable enough to get self-esteemy about and/or emulate. Continue reading on the next page... 2) That thing where he puts his hands on his hips It’s not just his facial disposition that projects “I am a MAN and IDGAF,” but also Brad Pitt’s physical presence, his body language. One prominent aspect of his physicality is the standing posture he’s adopted for some characters lately, an authoritative pose that complements his commanding jaw, standing with his hands on his hips, often with a tucked shirt. This is body language that yells “I’m in charge mofos” or “I’m the manager of this team, deal with it” or “I’m the fittest guy in this club” or “I’m the master of this house, Jessica Chastain.” So we see this pose used in Moneyball a lot, basically anytime he goes into the clubhouse and tells the team to get their poop in a group, and has to convey an air of confidence. It’s used to somewhat goofier effect in Burn After Reading to capture a clueless meathead whose confidence is horribly misplaced. It’s a pose a lot of dudes can look absolutely ridiculous holding (see: Bill Paxton), but Pitt pulls it off like a pro. Damn him. Continue reading on the next page... 3) That weird beard thing he had for a while It may not have looked good, but goddamn it if he didn’t believe in that thing. There’s something about sporting a crazy beard that makes a guy seem dangerous. For some, this projects a message of “I’m going to follow you home and do weird things to you when you fall asleep.” But not for someone like Brad Pitt. The old adage that if you’re poor you’re crazy and if you’re rich you’re eccentric applies, particularly if handsomeness is considered in addition to wealth. I have no evidence to back this up but I suspect that his beard got to be that way when he simply didn’t shave for one day. Continue reading on the next page... 4) That having an awesome voice thing His commercial for Chanel No. 5 perfume is now the stuff of infamy, having been parodied now to death and ridiculed at great length, not without good reason. But it’s also kind of oddly compelling, and a lot of this is because Brad Pitt has one of those mesmerizing voices. This is true of a lot of movie stars. It’s one of the things that made them who they are. They’re natural narrators. Pitt’s voice has some unique qualities, though. And it’s one of the things that made The Tree of Life so engaging. It can handle the serious poetry of a movie from someone like Terence Malick and also the insane dialogue of a guy like Quentin Tarantino, transitioning from 1940s southern general to post-war suburban scary dad as though no effort is required. It’s the resonant baritone sound we all aim for and rarely achieve save for early mornings and sick days. Continue reading on the next page... 5) That being good in everything thing Lately the most striking thing about Brad Pitt—he’s not the only one but he’s one of few actors right now who it applies to—is that everything he’s been in for the past several years has been outstanding, and he has been outstanding in them. It’s a testament to his seemingly increasing talent but also his judgment in selecting roles and projects that are excellent. The first of this string of terrific films was probably Babel in 2006, a bit of a departure for someone of Pitt’s star caliber, especially coming off a movie like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. And then there was a real streak of quality that included many aforementioned titles as well as The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Assassination of Jesse James, and some promising upcoming features. His performances in all of these have been uniformly fantastic. It’s not exactly a departure from his previous work, though, not terribly exceptional based on his career up to recent years. This is a guy who established himself alongside the great David Fincher in movies like Se7en and Fight Club, in addition to stuff like 12 Monkeys and Snatch. So he’s always basically been a really great actor. And it’s enough to make us all insanely jealous. Brad Pitt has got it going on, and always has, and probably always will. I’m man enough to admit it. But unfortunately, not man enough to be it.