Hitting yourself repeatedly in the face has more comedic value than this waste of celluloid, in which Kevin James plays a bumbling mall security guard whose character development begins and ends at "fat." There are so few successful jokes in the pic that it works best as an unintentional comedy, one in which James' overacting and the overwhelming stupidity of the Die Hard-aping plot get more laughs than the potty humor. Paul Blart: Mall Cop appeals to kids who think that making fun of fat people is a terrific leisure activity - any parents trapped in front of it would surely prefer to be run over by a portly mall cop on a Segway than endure any more.

Gallery: 11 Films Releasing This Year That You Should Probably Avoid

We Got This Covered takes a look at 11 films arriving next year that you'd be best off avoiding.

Matt Joseph

Published: Jan 20, 2015 08:19 pm

I’d still love to meet the studio exec who thought green-lighting this film was a good idea. Sure, the cast is appealing enough (Seth Rogen, Bill Murray, Melissa McCarthy), but the premise is basically a clone of the atrocious R.I.P.D. If you recall, that 2013 film starring Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges absolutely bombed, and deservedly so. The fact that B.O.O. is animated may help it fare a bit better, but right now, we’re not holding out much hope.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop sucked. It’s really that simple. There wasn’t one redeeming quality to the film and the fact that we’re getting a sequel speaks volumes to how messed up the current climate in Hollywood is. But, I digress. Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is a film that we’re going to avoid like the plague. And if you don’t know why, go watch the first one.

There’s a reason that Seventh Son keeps getting delayed. It may boast a solid cast, with Jeff Bridges and Julianne Moore leading the way, but the plot looks horribly generic. Packed to the brim with fantasy cliches, even the cast looks bored here (judging by the recent trailers), reciting lines so cheesy that you’d be forgiven for thinking Seventh Son was a send-up of the genre.

Production troubles aside, there’s a lot to worry about with this revamped version of Point Break. Not only will the plot and setting stray from the original, but the Kurt Wimmer (Total Recall remake) script doesn’t inspire much confidence, either. There’s simply no need for a Point Break remake, and given that nothing about it sounds particularly appealing, we probably won’t be lining up for it.

With Rupert Friend taking over the titular role from Timothy Olyphant, and the film being billed as a reboot of sorts, Fox is hopeful that Hitman will take off on the big screen, especially after a botched first attempt. However, given that Aleksander Bach is making his directorial debut, working from a screenplay by Skip Woods (A Good Day to Die Hard), Mike Finch (Predators) and Kyle Ward (Machete Kills), we don’t have high hopes that Agent 47 will do much to change our feelings about the franchise.

What more can you really say about Fifty Shades of Grey at this point? You’re likely in one of two camps on this one: you’ve either already purchased your tickets, or you’re already making plans with the boys for February 13th so your girlfriend doesn’t drag you to what’s sure to be a steaming pile of garbage. As for us? We’re definitely in the latter camp.

No one hates the found footage genre more than I do. While at first a clever gimmick, it’s been done to death at this point and one of the biggest offenders is the Paranormal Activity series. A franchise that just keeps getting worse and worse, it’s at the point right now where the films are near unwatchable, and each subsequent release just provides more reasons for why Paramount should pull the plug on this one.

Look, I love Liam Neeson just as much as the next guy does, but how much more of this can we take? Ever since finding his groove with Taken, the actor has been making the same movie over and over again, and Run All Night looks no different. Sure, A Walk Among The Tombstones was actually a bit of a breath of fresh air for the actor, but this one looks like just another Taken/Unknown/Non-Stop/Insert any Liam Neeson action movie here clone.

A fourth Transporter film? Yeah, we’ll pass on this one. Jason Statham is gone (replaced here by Ed Skrein), and considering that he was the only good thing about a series that was always mediocre at best, we see no reason to waste our money on this one.

Sorry, but somehow we just can’t see Monster Trucks achieving the same kind of success as something like The LEGO Movie did. Seriously Paramount, stop ruining our childhoods. You’ve done it with Transformers, G.I. Joe, Battleship and are now about to do it again with Monster Trucks. I suppose there is the odd chance that the studio may get it right this time, but given their current track record, we won’t hold our breath.

I’m not sure who exactly wanted a Hotel Transylvania 2 (probably your children), but we’re getting one. While the kiddies might be up for a return to the titular residence, we’ll be taking a pass. The first film sported a terribly generic and thin script that offered up zero in the way of originality or cleverness. One of the weaker animation efforts when it released back in 2012, Hotel Transylvania soured our stay with unfunny jokes and an overall blandness that left us wanting to check out soon after we arrived.

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Author

Matt Joseph

Matt Joseph is the co-founder, owner and Editor in Chief of We Got This Covered. He currently attends the University of Western Ontario and is studying at the Richard Ivey School of Business. He works on We Got This Covered in his spare time and enjoys writing for the site.