14) Very Good Girls
I hated this movie when it was called Something Borrowed, and I hate it now. The trope of two female friends falling for the same guy has been exploited in Hollywood for years, but Very Good Girls commits the cardinal sin of adding absolutely nothing new to the tried-and-true formula. If you’ve glanced at the premise, you could probably rattle off the plot from start to finish – and any mistakes you make would just make it a better movie.
Even worse than simple roteness, though, the talents of leads Dakota Fanning and Elizabeth Olsen are absolutely squandered by writer-director Naomi Foner, who traps them in a love triangle story and uses them to sketch a hilariously off-base portrait of the teenage mind. As a story of sexual awakening, it’s lethally boring. Honestly, the only way in which Very Good Girls could possibly be considered a success would be if it were screened with the intentions of scaring female viewers into a life of abstinence.
How annoying is Very Good Girls? When Fanning’s one-dimensional Lilly tries to seduce the even blander David (Boyd Holbrook, who should really be renamed Discount Ryan Gosling), he hands her a book of Sylvia Plath poetry and tells her to read a passage aloud, before cutting her off with a kiss.
Excuse me while I go throw up and get the bad taste of this movie out of my mouth.
