I will admit that the Die Hard franchise lasted a lot longer than I thought it would. I don’t mean in how many sequels there are, but how long the series actually stayed enjoyable. Even the fourth film was somehow still entertaining for me. But man, this most recent Die Hard sucked in so many ways. Hell, even the name is so stupid that I actually considered not putting it on the list for that reason alone.
While it can be said that, at its best, Die Hard is a self aware action series, the fifth entry tossed that out the window. From the enemy being Russian (oh look, another twelve year old boy is writing scripts), to the fact that IN ALL OF RUSSIA, the son and dad keep ending up in the same spots and unleashing forced “you didn’t raise me right” banter, the movie was just a giant load of crap. Yes, most of the action scenes in Die Hard movies take a big degree of suspended disbelief, but this movie asked you to suspend disbelief, physics, and rational thinking.
It also marked the moment when I decided that I would no longer be hanging out with John McClane. This film was some serious shark jumping. Like a helicopter on the back of a flaming truck jumping a robotic shark with octopus arms levels of shark jumping.
Published: Dec 30, 2013 10:01 pm