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Movies

Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: Mainstream Horror Nightmares – And Not The Good Kind

After struggling through I, Frankenstein not too long ago, this week's article topic was an easy one for me to come up with - mainstream horror moments that make Nato and Remy very sad pandas. Seriously - did any of you see I, Frankenstein? Sure, there were some decently entertaining fight sequences between gargoyles, demons, and a studly Frankenstein, but at the expense of character development, storyboarding, and proper atmosphere design that couldn't even establish a hustling and bustling city. What kind of city has zero residents besides living gargoyles and shapeshifting demons?
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Matt Donato
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Published: Jan 30, 2014 02:50 pm

This article is over 10 years old and may contain outdated information

Nato – Texas Chainsaw 3D

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I’m still confused by Texas Chainsaw 3D because so many people think this prequel/sequel/reboot (call it whatever the hell you want) paid proper tribute to the classic slasher films of the iconic 1980s, and provided ample amounts of fun. Right. So a movie that sends Leatherface running angrily into a crowded fairground, complete with games of chance and massive rides, only to have him run away scared and not covered in blood – that’s the movie that harkens back to slasher films of old? Um, have we been watching the same movies?

Brainless doesn’t even begin to describe Texas Chainsaw 3D, which perfectly happy with snatching some hard-bodied sexypants characters (including goddess Alexandra Daddario) and offing them one by one in equally disappointing ways. Hmm, should I open the big, out-of-place door and see what’s inside? Of course! Oh no, Leatherface is chasing me, I sure hope I don’t lose control of basic motor functions and trip over even the smallest twig numerous times! Hey, why is my boyfriend coming out of the barn with no shirt on, joined by my best friend? Probably having a tickle fight is all!

Oh, and then Leatherface’s soft side comes out – and this is where I stop before launching into a 1,000 word rant.

Good day, Texas Chainsaw 3D.

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Image of Matt Donato
Matt Donato
A drinking critic with a movie problem. Foodie. Meatballer. Horror Enthusiast.
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