Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: What If Carrie Was In The Faculty? (And Other Mix & Match Horror Fantasies)

You can't keep a dreamer from dreaming. Damn the facts, ignore rationale, and screw the rules - what's the fun of having an imagination if you don't use it, right? Well, OK, maybe Freddy Krueger can keep a dreamer from dreaming, because no one wants to be sucked into a nightmarish dreamland full of death and decay, but you get my point - it's always fun to imagine "What if?"

Nato – The Strangers In The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

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Alright, with these home invasion movies, you have to assume every once and a while the invaders pick the wrong house. No matter what homework you do, it’s a simple numbers game – sometimes the psychopaths have to invade a house full of equally psychotic inhabitants (ala Fresh Meat). Looking at that method though, certain combinations just wouldn’t work. Assailants with shotguns aren’t fun for true survival situations, as the ammo power gives an unfair advantage, and the home owners who fight back are always more fun to watch with hidden secrets, so with that in mind I came up with a fair compromise – The Strangers invading the home of Leatherface from the original massacre.

Think about it – The Strangers walk in with their masks, finding the more helpless Sawyer family members sitting around a table or such. They do their thing, get them tied up, but notice something isn’t completely right. The Sawyers aren’t very scared, and they start to joke around with The Strangers, eventually hinting that the invaders may have just made a huge mistake. Just then Leatherface busts a door down and takes to The Strangers, who are nothing more than humans with some flimsy weapons. Leatherface is a hulking, chainsaw-wielding badass who can easily take down three people – and the game is on. Looking at the chemistry between hostages and killers, plus the plausibility of escape/death, I believe this would present the best home invasion flub a horror movie could use.

Alright, you’ve heard our ideas, but we’d love to hear yours now! Which horror movies would you mash together given the chance?

*A special thanks to Remy for stepping in to guest write! Feel free to follow either of us on Twitter for even more insanity and updates:

Matt Donato

Remy Carreiro

Like what you read? Check out last week’s article where we dared one another to watch a random movie on Netflix Watch Instantly blind. Last week I watched The Stuff, and Remy watched Bloody Birthday!


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Author
Matt Donato
A drinking critic with a movie problem. Foodie. Meatballer. Horror Enthusiast.