Nato – Jill Valentine (Resident Evil: Apocalypse)
I didn’t pick Alice because she isn’t human and wouldn’t be fair in terms of this article, but S.T.A.R.S. agent Jill Valentine sure as hell would be with me. The sultry tactician is an all around zombie assassin, trained and skilled in numerous special forces disposal methods. A crack shot, a hand to hand threat, and a bombshell that had me drooling the first time I saw Sienna Guillroy in costume as the iconic Resident Evil character. Hubba-hubba! (Oh, and not the evil mind-controlled version from Resident Evil: Retribution either).
So let’s be honest, it’s the zombie apocalypse, and you have no idea who could be left alive. Women are in short supply, so why not have one accompany you who can save your ass if need be, but also provide prime breeding material for a new generation? I mean, Jill Valentine is a straight up vixen in Resident Evil: Apocalypse, one I wouldn’t mind seeing still alive come the end of days. It’d be a shame if we had to re-populate the world, eh? Then again, Valentine is such a soldier she’d probably beat me 50 shades of red if I even brushed against her wrong, but hell, I’ll take the eye candy splattering heads with deadly accuracy any day – as long as I’m alive.
Remy – Piper (Drive Angry 3D)
Piper from Drive Angry 3D (Amber Heard) will be in the group because she can kick much ass if it is needed, and she is painfully beautiful and has perfect genes, so I can impregnate her with my Devil seed, which serves multiple purposes. Yes, it is archaic to keep a woman around for breeding, but this is the zombiepocalypse, people. We need to think about the next generation. Hell, honestly, we would need to LITERALLY create them. Just keeping it real.
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Published: Nov 13, 2012 01:24 pm