Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: Drafting Your Zombie Apocalypse All-Star Squad

Nato – Michelle Rodriguez (ANYTHING)

F$ck even picking a character, I just want Michelle Rodriguez on my team in general. I’ll even be nice and let you pick which character she’d be playing, because I don’t really care. Sure, she usually ends up dying in, like, every movie she’s in, but that’s only because this female action knockout always gets herself in crazy situations. Fighting zombies? Leading indigenous aliens against humans in battle? Defending earth from aliens? Fighting the Covenant?! You have to be a hardened badass to even attempt those feats. Points awarded M-Rod. Think I can get that to stick?

Won’t lie, her looks sure don’t count against her, and having a close to even gender ratio might just be thinking ahead, but again, if I had to pick someone who just always appears to be looking for a fight, Rodriguez comes right to mind. Most of her films involve fight scenes and intensity, making me believe she’ll have no problem running into the fray of battle where some other actresses might be screaming for a stunt double. There’s a reason a poster of Michelle Rodriguez as Shé hangs in my room, and it’s not just for decoration. Any woman that beautifully stunning and doubly brawl ready deserves respect, I only hope she’ll be shooting a movie wherever I am when the time comes.

Remy – Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jurassic Park)

Next, we need a genius. Someone you can keep around to figure shit out. Basically, the brains of the operation. They don’t do much fighting, they stay at the safe house and do all the math and ration all the supplies and crap, plus, they usually have answers about WHY the zombie invasion is happening. For that reason, I will take Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park. Not only is he nerdy and interesting, but if it came down to it, I could crossbreed him with a housefly and make him the ultimate zombie killing machine. I know you are wondering why I didn’t just pick him as Dr. Brundle from The Fly remake, but man, that dude was UNSTABLE.

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