The Stuff
I have to thank Remy because I’ve been meaning to watch 1985’s The Stuff for a very long time, but haven’t had a chance to go back on older horror films due to my current, overflowing to-do list. Part overly-pushy commentary on disgusting commercialism, part horror scenario depicting what would happen if people started eating The Blob, writer/director Larry Cohen created a film that’s campy, mildly mind-numbing, and a perfect example of cheesy 80s filmmaking – in the best of ways, of course.
While walking about some type of rock quarry or mining facility, a portly fellow stumbles upon some white, frothy substance bubbling out of the ground like white oil. Confused by the emergence of a substance that looks like melted marshmallows, the man does the first thing that comes to mind – he tastes it. Finding it to be scrumptiously enjoyable, he makes a co-worker try it, and the two know what they must do – market it to the masses. From there, “The Stuff” is born, but when questions start to surround its ingredients, private detective David “Mo” Rutherford (Michael Moriarty) starts snooping around, not only questioning the origins of this tantalizing treat, but also how the FDA approved such a food – but is he prepared for the truth?
Now when I say The Stuff is campy, I mean like “Paul Sorvino playing a Commie-hating, racists, belligerent militant” campy. Like “People’s heads are bashed in only to reveal a soft, white core” campy. Like “There’s a character named Chocolate Chip Charlie” – that campy. Consequently, this is also what attributes to The Stuff‘s B-Movie charm, highlighting a period in filmmaking where no matter how goofy the presentation was, you could still find an audience willing to laugh the whole way. It’s not the scariest, goriest, or flashiest horror movie you’ll ever see, but with a still socially prevalent message, The Stuff will surprisingly make you think and laugh at the same time.
Of course, while Michael Moriarty’s character “Mo” Rutherford is the main character, it’s Garrett Morris’ character Chocolate Chip Charlie who will stick with you. After his legendary company is bought out by the people who make “The Stuff,” Chocolate Chip sets out to find out the same details “Mo” attempts to uncover – but in an entirely more badass way. Ready to karate chop any henchman in his way, Charlie meets “Mo” after ambushing him with no introduction, setting up just how silly of a character Charlie is. Animated, always running about, named after a cookie – Morris’ role as Chocolate Chip may be one of the best supporting character roles in 80s horror.
The Stuff isn’t a genre defining B-Movie by any means, but it’s a rather unique and fresh entry considering the genre, possessing themes worth cinematic dissection – although the horror movie route may not have been the most obvious choice. There’s a bit of a Troma vibe found in the sometimes cringe-worthy dialogue, zero emotional reaction to death and destruction, and randomly badass children, but what else to you expect from the 80s? Crappy pop-rock soundtracks, questionable styles, ridiculously hammed-up special effects, and a sense of humor that just doesn’t connect with horror movies of today. Honestly, I probably enjoyed Cohen’s cheese-fest more than I should have, but watching this white, oozy goo take over America was just too damn fun to ignore – although I’ll never be able to eat a Fluffernutter sandwich again. If you don’t know what that is, I feel sorry for your childhood.
3/5
– Nato
