Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE…..SANTA CLAUS!

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Trainer Remy: I choose YOU, Santa from Rare Exports!

He comes out the Santa Pokéball all old and naked. That is when it hits me how this is most likely not going to go in my favor. He uses “creepy stare” to thicken his defenses and readies for an attack.

Trainer Nato: I choose YOU, Santa from Saint!

Out comes a crazy old Norse medieval Santa, pissed off from being burned alive and accompanied by a posse of evil killer henchmen. His sinister accomplices surround the Santa from Rare Exports, toying and distracting the hulking beast into a fit of rage. Rare Exports Santa tries to fight off the numerous undead demons, but he’s easily antagonized and distracted. It’s super effective!

Remy then yells something that is clearly out of sync with his mouth in a loud, grating anime voice: HAHAHAHA, HOW SIMPLE WAS IT TO LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF PEACE. Santa from Rare Exports, back into your snowball.

Santa From Silent Night, I CHOOOOOOOSSSEEE YOUUUUUUU!

He appears, dressed to the nines, with his creepy ass Mall Santa mask on and oddly silent demeanor.

The irony here is that he has a wonderfully pointless and excessive flamethrower that, when gazed upon by Santa from Saint, fills him with pure terror from his memories of roasting alive. The Black Petes begin to surround Silent Santa, but he makes short work of them by turning them into a pile of ash at the feet of Saint Nick.

Normally silent, he breaks character to bust out a horror movie quip: “Do you know what Ho Ho Ho spells when you add a T to it, Nick?” At which point, he proceeds to cook Saint Nick alive while HOT HOT HOT plays in the background.

Trainer Remy: (Anime voice returns) Looks like this round goes to ME!

Silent Santa stands there, flamethrower nozzle exhaling gray wisps of exhaust and smoke into the air.

Trainer Remy: Your move!

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