Nato’s Picks – An Alphabetic Journey Of Horrific Proportions
Whether you love it or hate it, The ABCs Of Death is truly a special film because of the massive variety of material presented. On the plus side, how can you get bored? The rapid-fire delivery of new shorts always keeps you on your toes and ready for a new scene, thinking ahead to the next letter and what could possibly be waiting. Negatively though, with so many different styles and ideas, finding someone who likes every single short will be like finding a leprechaun or a unicorn. To be a true success, our producers just have to hope people like more shorts than they hate. There’s something for everyone, but there’s also something for everyone to write off – except Ti West’s segment. If you like his piece, you’re just a cinematic masochist who should be exiled to the jungles where Cannibal Holocaust was filmed.
But let’s get positive again and talk about what I did like!
H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion
 
Directed by Thomas Malling, known for the true story Norwegian Ninja – and by true story I mean ridiculous 80’s action/ninja hybrid throwback.
Yes, that in fact is a half person/half bulldog British fighter pilot swigging drinks in a swanky nightclub while on leave of his war-time duties. What is he watching? Why just another average strip-tease put on by a foxy female character – no really, she’s seriously a fox. Why the animal hybrid costumes? How in the hell are Nazis involved? Where the f#ck does Hydro-Electric Diffusion come in?! Stop asking so many questions and just watch the damn short!
No, really, Malling seriously had to dig deep for this nugget, as the concept is easily the most far-fetched and utterly inspiring out of all the shorts. To come up with the word Hydro-Electric Diffusion is one thing, but to carry out the scene with furry characters takes the ordeal to an entirely different level. Mix in hilariously campy visuals like popping eyeballs and nut-punching robots, and you’ve got a brilliant little piece of entertainment worth a serious re-watch. Crazy freakin’ Norwegians.
L is for Libido
Directed by Timo Tjahjanto, one half of the duo who created Macabre.
It’s one thing when native Asian films sexualize violence with perky, giggling girls and silly fetishes, but it’s another thing when violence is sexualized in a way that’s downright degrading, repugnant, and absolutely horrifying. Yes, out of all the shorts on display, Timo Tjahjanto achieves the most fully loaded true horror short out of the whole bunch – by taking an awful real crime and adding an element of death to it.
In short, “Libido” starts out with two poor men tied to chairs with a naked woman placed in front of them. Confused, we look on, but soon realize a game is afoot – who ever can spank their monkey quicker than the other contestant will be spared while the loser is killed. Sadly, there are stages though, so the winner if only granted amnesty until the next stage, where the spank material gets more and more perverted. Ugh, trust me when I say two dudes cranking it on camera is the least disturbing thing you’ll see in “Libido,” showing me something I literally still haven’t shaken. Not for the weak of heart, morally sound, or mentally stable. Which is why I can watch it.
Q is for Quack
Directed by Adam Wingard, known for his work in V/H/S, S-VHS, and the upcoming festival hit You’re Next.
“Q is for Quack” exists as the most honest of all the shorts, literally showing Adam Wingard and collaborative writer Simon Barrett as they try to figure out how to get a good death scene out of one of the more obscure letters in the alphabet. Sure, it’s a kind of goofball skit with an ending you see about a mile away, but I found something charming about Wingard and Barrett first trashing the creators for “disrespecting” them with the letter Q, then brainstorming how to make their short stick out – of course while finding a way to work nudity and drugs into the mix for no apparent reason.
Obviously you might think you have an idea to what “Quack” is referring to, but I’ll keep details in the dark on this one just for shits and giggles. I know some people aren’t going to agree with my love for this one, and in all honesty I’d still rank “Dogfight,” “Unearthed,” and “WTF” ahead of this one, but I’m happy Remy snagged them so I could give Wingard a little love here.
