Nato – The Human Centipede (First Sequence) and The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)
Alright, I lied. I’m hijacking Remy’s last spot and talking about The Human Centipede. Originally, I was going to take this opportunity to chronicle Hostel‘s downfall, but it’s an all-too-familiar story of Hollywood’s refusal to let trends die. Hostel was great stuff and put Eli Roth into mainstream notoriety, Hostel: Part II was a lesser sequel, and Hostel: Part III went straight to DVD. End of story. Now let’s talk about ass-to-mouth.
I watched The Human Centipede: First Sequence much like many horror fans who heard grumblings of some mad director sewing people’s mouths and butts together on-screen. That man, as mentioned before, is Tom Six, an “ambitious” director born in the Netherlands, willing to inject his freaky-deaky Dutch ways into some straight up perverted “torture porn” cinema. As a film adventurer, of course I took Six’s film as a challenge with open arms, both actually, which I’ll outline separately right now.
I was not sipping the same Kool-Aid as Six on The Human Centipede (First Sequence), plain and simple. Nothing was “so bad it’s good,” no moment was positively edgy enough to denote directorial heroism, and a steaming pile of script made the film feel more like smut and garbage instead of exploitation cinema, as Six’s film finishes with the lingering feeling you just watched the director create a sick personal fantasy of his own. Six tries too hard to achieve cult status given to films confident enough to travel outside genre norms, but opens doors no one ever asked to open, and then craps all over them with poop gags and poor tone.
It’s a shame too, because Dieter Laser as the now famous Dr. Heiter was a seriously messed-up character. The passion and emotion Laser put into playing a doctor with nothing better to do than turn people into faux-insects is scary-entrancing, standing out amongst such putrid material. Watching the good doctor get excited when Katsuro has to defecate sent chills of uncomfortable rage, marching his victims around like a science project pet. Laser is ten times the maniac Laurence R. Harvey presents in The Human Centipede: Part II (Full Sequence).
After watching though, there was no fun had, no appetite for original ideas fed, and no wish for more torture. No, The Human Centipede (First Sequence) was a trial in boundary pushing by an immature mind, having little to no positive values worth any sort of repeated watch or recognition. Then Six made a sequel.
Truthfully, I enjoyed the concept of Six acknowledging his first film is nothing but a silly and stupid creation obsessed over by freaks. Sorry if I offended anyone with that, but that’s essentially how Six portrays fans, as the above character, helplessly in love with something so vile. By pulling back and having a character attempt to mimic Dr. Heiter’s actions in a real life universe, so many aspects are questioned like irrational investment in fantasy and the worship of something so wrong. But, Six mucks all that up with a horrid ending, as The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) spoils all previous events.
As you can also see, Six decided to shoot his sequel in black and white, truly making me believe the director lives in some magical land where people see this nonsense as actual art. Either that, or he just wanted the only color on-screen to be feces, with brown popping vividly off the screen. Yup, of course it was the latter, spraying butt fudge like it was going out of style. I have a damn near perfect constitution, but one grotesque scene almost made me physically ill. Why Tom Six. Honestly, why?
As for Laurence R. Harvey playing new orchestrator Martin, he obviously was a much different type of lunatic compared to Laser’s. Martin was not a doctor, barely talked, was a loner/shut in, and all around social outcast. How he managed to carry out such an elaborate act is mind-boggling, sewing 10 people together this time in an attempt to build upon Heiter’s model. Not to mention Six again tries to achieve an art house type feel with Harvey’s performance, instructing the most awkward and obscene actions to be performed, but Harvey was just a tad too obscure for my tastes.
I mean, what can you say. The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)Â is bigger, sloppier, assier, stinkier, and just as miserable. With grander ideas at work and a meta reflection on his original film, Six had a chance to win me back, only if he could have admitted his first film was an absolute joke. Instead, I think he became clouded with the illusion we want more dookie-munching “torture porn,” as he’ll be back with The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence) before you can say “Hershey Highway.”
Now it’s your turn!  Feel free to let Remy and I know how sick our minds are to indulge in such a genre, and share your favorite or most hated examples!
*A special thanks to Remy for stepping in to guest write!  Feel free to follow either of us on Twitter for even more insanity and updates:
Matt Donato Follow @DoNatoBomb
Remy Carreiro Follow @RemyCarreiro
Also, check out our first two entries which establish our most feared films and chronicle our discussion on the rampant over-usage of found footage horror!
