Now, I thought long and hard about this for a minute or two, and out of the selection offered to us over the years by the wonderful Mr. Yoji Shinkawa, I finally settled on the original Metal Gear Solid’s “walking bipedal tank”, Metal Gear REX. Why? Well, for a start, he sounds like a dinosaur who’s been assembled from adamantium and diamonds and pieced together on a construction line by crazed, gigantic scientists. Metal Gear RAY, while very arguably the cooler mech in design terms, just sounds like that fella your mum warned you about that spends all his time taking apart the backs of clocks in the shadows in charity shops.
Rex’s mounted rail gun is sure to come in handy when it comes to the wanton destruction of seabeasts from a considered distance, but his crotch laser’ll take care of closer threats on foot, including (we all hope) a certain Charlie Day who’ll be subjected to a quick smiting in the sequel as a sort of visual catharsis for having to endure his performance in the first film. Best of all, though, REX’s speaker system will allow whoever’s piloting him to scream “It’s not over! Not yet!” as many times as they like to any beast of their choosing. So long as he remembers to scrape another Jaeger – Frank, in this case – from his heel before be heads into action, I believe in heart and soul that REX would be embraced by kids, toy companies and even those of infinitesimal nostalgia, and that more importantly, his presence would…
Make A Pacific Rim Sequel Worth Our Time.
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