5 Humble Suggestions For Next Year’s Academy Awards Ceremony

We should probably just admit that by their nature, the Academy Awards are an inherently unsatisfying entity, and it’s likely that no ceremony will ever make anyone happy, let alone everyone. That’s the nature of these types of self-congratulatory jerkfests that feature upper crust blowhards who moralistically decry world problems like poverty and hunger all while wearing literally millions of dollars worth of diamonds on their person. There’s a certain quality that dictates they essentially fail before they even have a chance to be enjoyable.

That’s not to say there are no enjoyable moments that break through the bleakness. If this year’s Golden Globe Awards prove anything, it’s that we can at least hope for the best case scenario of awards ceremonies potentially providing enough little tidbits of happiness amid the desperation for a show to break even on the laughs vs. eye rolls scale. The Oscars put in a valiant effort again this year, but by most accounts, failed pretty profoundly.

Are the Academy Awards doomed to being forever identified as a largely humorless, agonizingly self-righteous and self-important showcase of material excess and vapid anti-climax like they were again this year? Probably. But here are 5 ideas guaranteed to make next year’s a slight improvement at the very least.

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