10) Butcher Boys
Coming in at number ten we have Butcher Boys, a Texas Chainsaw Massacre knock off from the co-writer of Tobe Hooper’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Seriously, the marketing campaign obviously talked up the “From The Creator Of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” angle, but true fans are going to be let down when they realize Tobe Hooper didn’t touch this project with a ten-foot-poll. What we’ve got here is a cannibal story from Kim Henkel, the man who collaborated with Hooper and did a little producing in the act. He hasn’t really been relevant in the horror genre since, and Butcher Boys could be just as bad as his horribly, no good Leatherface sequel, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation. Yup, Hinkle was to blame for that monstrosity, and his destructive reign still hasn’t ended.
Butcher Boys is part Grease, party deadly story about people-eating cultists, minus all the singing and dancing. Just look at the picture above, aren’t you just cowering in your boots viewing these slick-backed bad-boys from the 1960s? Starting at a horrendous pace, eventually we meet another group of eccentric characters who have a taste for human flesh, but by this point, we’ve realized that Hinkle’s story is audacious for no reason, the cannibal arc is eerily similar to his previous work, and this backwards town doesn’t have a lick of entertainment to be found. Ali Faulkner does her best to avoid her doomed fate, but in a story that doesn’t make us care about her survival, there’s not much worth rooting for. Boring, bland, and about as tasty as month-old flank steak.
No matter how you dress up this putrid meal, Butcher Boys isn’t even a meal fit for a peasant – the lowliest, most starved of peasants.
Published: Dec 26, 2013 03:49 pm