5 Things That Would Make This Sunday’s Academy Awards Not Completely Terrible

For those of us who harbor extreme ambivalence toward the Academy Awards and all they stand for, the Oscar ceremony this coming Sunday is likely to be a pendulum swinging between severe annoyance and cautious excitement. The whole concept of the awards is both noble and preposterous, best epitomized by the people who blast the notion of ranking works of art until they win an award and are suddenly humbled and gracious in their acceptance of the statue they once considered meaningless. Many, including myself on most days, decry the Academy Awards as a vapid evening of excess and self congratulation, perpetuating the myth that Hollywood is doing good in the world, validating stars’ fragile egos, and dear god I hope my favorite movie/director/actor wins!

It is therefore with tempered anticipation that I would like to briefly look ahead to the ceremony itself, the telecast that anyone who cares about movies and/or glamour will at least play in the background while doing something else. I don’t subscribe to the idea that these shows are about making history or hold any such significance whatsoever. I do think that they can be delightfully distracting for a night. Some years more than others. There are 5 things that could happen this Sunday that I think would make this year’s Academy Awards a memorable, enjoyable and resounding success.

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