Adam A. Donaldson’s 10 Worst Films Of 2014

I, Frankenstein

I’d say that I, Frankenstein makes Underworld look like Canterbury Tales, but this actually comes from the guy that created Underworld, which makes this the follow-up to Canterbury Tales that Chaucer wrote after being hit on the head a couple of dozen times if we push the analogy to bizarre ends. I, Frankenstein is one of two movies this year to re-conceptualize classic movie monsters as basically superheroes. Along with Luke Evans as the tragically heroic vampire prince in Dracula Untold, we got Aaron Eckhart as the ruggedly handsome Frankenstein’s monster, recast as a draftee in the silly and complex war between gargoyles and demons.

Amongst the many crimes committed by the film is the non-specific European setting, CGI overkill in the action sequences, too much background shared too often by voice over, and the squandering of talented actors like Eckhart, Yvonne Strahovski, Miranda Otto and Bill Nighy.

Nighy, of course, is no stranger to monster schlock shot in blue hues put to a nu-metal soundtrack (he was in Underworld), but his face bears the appearance of a man who can’t believe he’d have to do a movie like this twice in his career. The story about what deal with the devil Nighy made that forced him play the autocratic leader of well-dressed monsters in not just one, but two craptastic films would be a movie worth watching.

I, Frankenstein has all the fun of watching someone play a video game, as the lead character marches from one random task to another as he works his way up a series of bad guys to get to Nighy’s demon leader. The end implies more Frankenstein adventures, presumably a battle against red caps or leprechauns, but gladly this is likely the last I, Frankenstein outing. And if you want a compelling essay on Mary Shelley’s classic monster tale, check out Rory Kinnear on Penny Dreadful.