10) San Andreas
Why, Dwayne, why? No other athlete-turned-actor in Hollywood today has accrued such a dedicated fan base, and those devoted moviegoers, who’ve watched “The Rock” Johnson in everything from Hercules to Furious 7, deserve far better than this soulless, slack excuse for a disaster movie.
San Andreas, directed by Brad Peyton as a two-hours-too-long compilation of impressively rendered destructo-porn sequences, is one of the worst summer blockbusters in years, existing solely as an excuse to let technical artists do their work and let Johnson flex his physical (but never dramatic) muscles.
The actor stars as a rescue pilot attempting to reunite with his wife (Carla Gugino) and daughter (Alexandra Daddario) as a massive earthquake devastates California, but San Andreas‘ tension-free script simultaneously fails to build any of its protagonists into likable characters and, even worse, forgets to acknowledge the thousands of people perishing in its central catastrophe as anything more than pixels mushing together against thousands of other pixels.
I wanted the ground to open up and swallow this whole movie.
Published: Jan 4, 2016 06:37 pm