Director: William Brent Bell
“Oh look, what a surprise, another ‘found footage’ horror film in my bottom 13,” he said sarcastically.
Holy moly, where do I begin with the worthless piece of horror drivel known as The Devil Inside, yet another “found footage” catastrophe simply trying to mirror Paranormal Activity‘s overnight success. You’ve got your snore-inducing pace, zero attention to horror, characters you simply want to punch in the face, writing not worth a damn climatically, deceptive/nonsensical story progression, and unquestionably THE WORST ending I’ve seen grace the horror genre in years. The film ends out of nowhere with an incredibly abrupt and stupidly out of place finale, really cheating us out of important story points Bell simply never cares to address with what feels like blatantly lazy filmmaking.
The Devil Inside is about exorcisms and religious horror, yet so much time is spent on the boring talky-talky mumbo jumbo instead of the actual holy crusading. It’s a damn shame because there were a few moments of body-contorting horror that had me hooked, but I can assure you it was only for a brief second, gone in a haze of dimly lit rooms and annoying Real World like confessionals from our characters.
The Devil Inside couldn’t have started 2012 off on a worse foot, and would have been an easy number one pick if it wasn’t such big year for terrible horror films.
Director: Â Padraig Reynolds
Some people think it’s easy to make a slasher movie, discrediting such genre films for only needing a killer, some pretty wanna-be actors/actresses, and a creepy location. Well if it was that simple, why are there so many awful slasher movies in existence? Just look at Rites Of Spring, an incredibly painful Southern-fried slasher that tries to introduce a new horror villain named Wormface, but forgets to actually establish any sort of backstory along the way.
Reynolds’ initial attempt is to play off of ritualistic beliefs that a sacrifice is needed every spring for a fruitful harvest, and Wormface is the one who does the killing. Enter a creepy old farmer and two poor girls hand selected for his sadistic ritual, establishing the horror. At the same time, another kidnapping taking place in a nearby abandoned building throws more kill fodder into the mix when the two sets of characters cross paths, mixing both stories. The problem is simple though – neither story is properly thought out or executed with any enjoyable logic or horror fun in the least bit. Gore and nudity couldn’t even camp up Rites Of Spring for a cultish saving grace, making the final product only usable for crop fertilization.
When you mix shit with more shit, all you have is an even bigger pile of shit. Sorry for the simple analogy, but how else can I say it?
Published: Jan 2, 2013 10:59 pm