9 John Wick Crossovers You Didn’t Know You Needed

John Wick: Condemned Killer

Crossover: The Condemned (2007), The Condemned 2 (2015)

Screw it. The Condemned is fun. But what if WWE’s lesser-appreciated franchise got a John Wick makeover? The idea of a streaming deathmatch tournament could be spiced-up with willing participants, and actual arenas. Something like the original Roger Corman Death Race 2000? And please let this be directed by Joe Carnahan.

Here, let’s just make it easy. The government got all screwy, and instead of legalizing marijuana for taxation purposes, they fully sanction Condemned tournaments for some extra dough. Restricted areas, approved murders – the whole shebang. Even better, they offer a cash prize. The sickest of the sick, being given a chance to walk away with millions. Who better to enlist themselves than trained, cold-blooded killers?

Wick doesn’t seem like the type to sign up, though – you’re right. He’d need coaxing. Revenge, blackmail, something. Maybe he’s drugged and wakes up mid-game? However it happens, he enters a televised Thunderdome as some glorified contestant. Yes, hints of The Running Man and The Tournament can be spotted, but you’re telling me you don’t want that? Remove all the drama subplots, and make it easy. A number of assassins, a cash prize and only one survivor. Who, of course, will be John Wick.

Thanks for sticking through my John Wick fever-dream, folks, and if any studio heads want to chat further, DM me on Twitter. We can talk monetary compensation first.