An Electronic Music Elitist’s Guide To Coachella 2016

If you’ve been anywhere on or around the Internet anytime over the past couple of weeks, you have to have seen Coachella’s 2016 lineup. While not primarily marketed as an electronic music event, the festival has undeniably slid further into the genre’s kitzchy depths in recent years and this year’s roster certainly didn’t break the trend.

7) Snails

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Dubstep is absolutely uncool now, so you’re not a real contrarian if you don’t work a little bit of the thoroughly dated genre into your ‘Chella experience. That said, you don’t need to subject yourself to something that’s flat-out boring, either, so you might as well fill your quota with Snails.

The “vomitstep” innovator’s signature style of bass music incorporates sawtooth synths that reverberate at such savagely low frequencies that they’ll practically rearrange your atomic structure.

If anybody’s found a way to make dubstep even dubsteppier than it already was, it’s Snails.

6) Death Grips

Remember how when mainstream hip-hop all started going to hell, emcees from the collective OFWGKTA like Tyler The Creator introduced a darker, more experimental brand of the genre that, while definitely a breath of fresh air, ultimately appealed more to suburban kids who wore skinny jeans than anyone else? Death Grips is infinitely darker and more experimental, and when it comes down to it their music just seems to come from a realer place.

The collaboration between vocalist MC Ride, Zach Hill and Andy Morin began in 2011 with an especially avant-garde album, and the themes in their upcoming effort promise to be even more off putting.

Even if you don’t like their music (which I’ll even admit is pretty hard to sit through), you’d might as well show up for the story alone.

5) Maceo Plex

If you think filling your entire Coachella schedule up with techno artists is gonna win you points with the music elitists, you’re sorely mistaken. Techno was the dance music hipster’s drug of choice in 2015, but as I’ve mentioned before, the tides are about to turn and it won’t be long before it falls out of their favor.

So maybe you should see just one techno artist to make sure you don’t come across as a bandwagon jumper, and Maceo Plex is as good a candidate as any. The Spain-based U.S. transplant has been pushing the boundaries of the style since long before it was the genre du jour of aspiring music snobs that it is now.

4) Justin Martin

I haven’t exactly been bashful in regards to my musical man crush on Dirtybird’s chief export, Justin Martin. Between his strict adherence to the elements that define proper house music and his knack for still finding ways to give his music mass appeal within those confines, his milkshake definitely brings all the snobs to the yard.

Really, though, who else could write songs as serenely saccharine as “Don’t Go” or “Just Escape” and still manage to make them appeal to the discerning palate of the house music elite? You’re basically throwing your money away if you hit a festival at which he’s slated to perform and manage to miss his set.


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