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‘Why would I do the Debate against Kamala Harris’: As ‘DonOLD’ Trump contemplates canceling his September debate, Republicans receive even more sobering news 

The Saffron overlord may just be bluffing with a losing hand.

As the former president ponders aloud why he should bother debating Kamala Harris, one can’t help but wonder if it’s the sound of cold feet tapping to the rhythm of declining polls and soaring Democratic viewership. 

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Scheduled for Sept. 10, this high-stakes verbal duel now hangs in the balance. Donald Trump‘s grievances? An alleged bias at ABC, the debate’s host network, which he accuses of being a clubhouse for “Trump Haters” and unfair journalism. His rant included a roll call of usual suspects and past media missteps, including a jab at Donna Brazile’s infamous 2016 debate question leak, painting a conspiracy-laden backdrop for his potential exit stage right.

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Image via Truth Social @realDonaldTrump

The squabble doesn’t stop at network partiality. The Mango Mussolini is also entangled in a bitter brawl over microphone protocols, demanding that candidates’ mics be silenced when it’s not their turn to speak, akin to his last debate with Biden. The Harris camp, however, insists on keeping the mics live throughout, adhering to long-standing presidential debate tradition. For Trump, who often veered into realms of nonsense and misleading statements in previous debates, the mute button might just be the essential safety net he’s reluctant to forego this time.

As Alyssa Farah Griffin pointed out, it’s not hard to deduce that his cold feet stem from a paralyzing fear of facing a formidable foe in Kamala Harris, who has emerged as a far more magnetic and razor-sharp rival than Biden. The Vice President’s recent DNC acceptance speech not only outdrew Trump’s speech in Milwaukee by half a million viewers but also handed MSNBC its best DNC ratings in nearly three decades. Even Fox News, a traditionally safe harbor for right-leaning viewers, trailed behind on the night Harris spoke. It’s no small wonder then that Trump, ever the ratings hawk who prides himself on being a crowd-puller, seems jittery.

The recent Democratic National Convention mercilessly obliterated the Republican National Convention’s viewership by nearly 15%. Even the assassination attempt on Trump’s life mere days before couldn’t juice his ratings enough to dethrone Harris. According to The New York Times, Kamala Harris has now edged ahead with a commanding 49%, leaving Trump trailing by a 3% margin. Is the GOP’s formerly unassailable citadel crumbling before our very eyes? Recent rallies have been plagued by vanishing throngs and yawning spectators, subjected to a slumped-shouldered grandpa griping about his personal plights and allegedly waning looks (though some might contend that the roadkill toupee perched on his noggin has always been a fashion faux pas). 

It remains to be seen whether the Saffron Sultan will actually make good on his threat to ditch the debate. Perhaps he’ll catch us off guard and materialize with a fresh dusting of Cheeto powder. Or maybe he’ll scurry back to his Mar-a-Lago bunker, furiously finger-pointing about the injustice of it all while “the childless cat lady” continues to bewitch the nation.


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Omar Faruque
Omar is a seasoned writer specializing in all things entertainment. His approach to life and writing is the same: find the story in everything, and make sure to enjoy the ride. When not behind his keyboard, Omar is living his best life, whether that's channeling his inner superhero, trying to replicate anime recipes in his kitchen, or settling into his favorite coffee shop corner with a good book.