What would it take for you to skip your son’s wedding? It’d have to be something extremely serious, right? Well, what if your son were Donald Trump Jr? Oh yeah, uh, something’s come up, and I can’t make it. Darn, what a shame.
Such is the sticky situation Donald Trump finds himself in. Don Jr is set to marry model Bettina Anderson on a private island in the Bahamas tomorrow, in a small ceremony attended by family and friends only.
The initial plan was for a gala wedding at the White House, but this was nixed as it would have looked bad during a war (also possibly because it would have been much more difficult for Trump to avoid it).
Trump was quizzed about whether he’d be there and, agh, wouldn’t you know it? Something’s come up. What a shame.
They make fun of Biden visiting his son’s grave regularly https://t.co/O1Tv6SVYGI
— celia (@_celia_bedelia_) May 21, 2026
“He’d like me to go. But I think it’s just going to a small little private affair. I’m gonna try and make it. I said, you know this is not good timing for me, I have a thing called Iran… and other things. That’s one I can’t win on. If I do attend I get killed, if I don’t attend I get killed. By the fake news of course I’m talking about.”
In comments that are bizarrely impersonal for a father to make about his son, Trump then added:
“But he’s uh, a very.. a person I’ve known for a long time and um, I hope they have a great marriage.”
For once, I have sympathy for Trump. I’d rather be stuck on a private island with a pack of velociraptors than with Don Jr and his buddies. And, while Trump’s war with Iran is an unimaginable disaster from top to bottom, maybe there’s the tiniest thread of a silver lining if he can use it to get out of awkward social situations. Huh, Trump and Larry David have more in common than we thought…
Golf vs Don Jr’s wedding? Easy decision to make!
Regardless, it really does look like Trump is going to skip his son’s wedding. His official schedule puts him in Bedminster, NJ, tomorrow, the home of Trump National Golf Club Bedminster. So, by all appearances, the “something” that is keeping Trump from attending his son’s wedding appears to be… a round of golf.
And you know what, for once, let’s cut Trump some slack and let him enjoy some tee-time in peace. Nobody, not even Donald Trump, deserves to be stuck at a tropical party with Don Jr all weekend.
Published: May 22, 2026 05:41 am