Man says his fiancée doesn’t think what he did was technically cheating, but she still ended their 4-year relationship

A man and his fiancée had lived together for three and a half years and reportedly considered each other best friends, according to his Reddit post by u/Suspicious_Text_8268 in r/Regrets. The man recently saw his four-year relationship end after his fiancée discovered he reportedly paid for voice calls with an OnlyFans creator. He claimed she ended things almost immediately after finding the messages.

The relationship dynamic reportedly shifted after the first six months. According to the Redditor, he explained that his fiancée stopped wanting sex and would only offer it on a transactional basis for favors. He claims they eventually stopped having a physical connection, as she experienced pain during intimacy.

He reportedly noted that he was open to alternatives and had many conversations with her about the issue over the years. However, he felt she apparently did not put in any effort to address the problem. According to the Redditor, the couple eventually settled into a lifestyle that he said felt more like living as roommates.

He says the calls were moments of weakness he regretted almost right away

He claimed he only received physical intimacy if he initiated, and even then it was limited to manual stimulation. The lack of physical connection reportedly left him feeling insecure about his appearance and himself. He claims he eventually stopped asking for intimacy, as the constant rejection caused him too much pain.

He also said he did not want to pressure her into situations where she felt uncomfortable. During this period, he reportedly developed a dependency on pornography. He said he found himself needing more extreme content to feel anything, and that this may have led him to pay for two separate voice calls with an OnlyFans creator.

He described these instances as quick, regretful moments of weakness. Months later, his fiancée appears to have found the messages related to the OnlyFans calls. According to his account, she ended the relationship almost immediately after discovering them.

She reportedly told him she does not think it is technically cheating. According to the Redditor, however, she emphasized that she feels betrayed and lied to, and said she no longer knows who he is. The man said that knowing how much he hurt her causes him deep pain, as she had been his partner for four years.

Several Reddit users appeared unsympathetic. One told him, “If you’re unhappy you don’t cheat, you leave. Also this is cheating.” Another suggested he likely had a morals issue rooted in a deep lack of self-respect, while a third argued he may have hit rock bottom and was feeling guilt and shame rather than love.

The debate over whether paid interactions with OnlyFans creators count as infidelity has played out publicly before. Adam Levine denied having an affair with Sumner Stroh but admitted he crossed the line with his messages. Twitch star Amouranth later joked that she recognized him from her OnlyFans DMs.

The man now appears to be dealing with the aftermath of the OnlyFans discovery on his own. One commenter warned that the fiancée’s shattered trust would likely manifest into other issues down the line, suggesting any attempt at reconciliation could be extremely difficult.