Tom Brady signs deal with Netflix to get roasted like the bell peppers his weird diet prohibits

Tom Brady
Photo: Netflix/Eric Ray Davidson

If there’s one thing pro athletes are known for, it’s their intelligence, thick skin, and sense of humor about themselves. And if there’s one thing comedians are known for, it’s their tact and ability to stay within the bounds of good taste. So get ready for an evening of Tom Brady smiling uncomfortably and pretending to be a good sport, as Netflix has announced they will be streaming his very first roast.

Much like a pro athlete slumming in Tampa Bay rather than admit it’s time to retire, superstar quarterback Tom Brady has signed a deal with Netflix to executive produce a series of “GROAT (Greatest Roasts of All Time)” roasts with himself as the first “guest of honor” about half a decade after the rest of the country stopped watching roasts.

With Brady executive producing, there will likely be restrictions on the material for the dais of roasting comedians to use, so like Floyd Mayweather in the ring with Conor MacGregor, expect to watch a group of heavyweights pull their punches.  While there may be many halfhearted references to Brady’s career of confirmed cheating and dirty moves, they will most likely come in the form of tame jokes about how it takes a lot of balls to come on a roast, but also, they’re deflated.

You will be less likely to hear jokes like, “The NFL executives and refs must think his name is O.J. Simpson because they keep letting him get away with murder.” Or “The only thing sadder than a quarterback taping an opposing team’s signals is that he had to cheat against the Jets. Pee Wee League teams don’t have to cheat against the Jets.”

You will probably hear jokes about his super restrictive diet, though. The man didn’t eat a strawberry until he was 40-years-old.

While the lineup of roasters hasn’t been set yet, “America’s Roastmaster General” Jeff Ross is set to executive produce, so expect to see him on the dais as well. Also producing will be Carol Donovan, best known for her work on CBS’ Survivor and MTV’s Unplugged, as well as Comedy Central’s Night of Too Many Stars live benefit specials.

Tom Brady has been on a spree of announced deals to launch projects in 2022 because leading Tampa Bay really is a part-time job, including a deal to produce 80 for Brady, a Tom Brady-themed road trip comedy that will also star Tom Brady.