Why is North Korea sending flying poop to the South?

North Korea, led by the chubby demigod-pretend with a bad haircut, has once again managed to grab headlines for all the wrong reasons.

Whether it’s threatening global stability with nuclear tests or broadcasting state TV specials that showcase Kim’s apparent supernatural ability to control the weather, North Korea never fails to astonish the world with its flair for the theatrical. However, this latest incident marks a new low for the attention-craving kingdom.

Through air raids, it has begun sending balloons filled with actual feces across the border into South Korea. Yes, you read that right – flying poop. South Korean authorities have warned residents to steer clear of these stinky missiles, lest they find themselves covered in the stench of Dear Leader’s displeasure.

Beyond the unmistakable poop payloads, the balloons are reportedly filled with used batteries, dismembered shoe parts, bottles, wastepaper, and more. The aerial litter has affected eight out of nine provinces, with the government warning South Korean citizens to avoid contact with the debris due to health hazards.

But why resort to such a disgusting tactic?

It turns out this fecal fiasco is actually retaliation for a stunt pulled by South Korean activists earlier this month. These balloons were filled with something far more dangerous to the North Korean dictator’s delicate sensibilities: leaflets criticizing his regime and pen drives loaded with the ultimate weapon of mass rebellion– K-pop. Kim Jong-un’s regime has famously gone to extreme lengths to insulate its population from foreign influences, particularly from the South.  

Technically, the two Koreas are still at war, and the balloon battles are just one of the many strange ways this conflict continues to play out. In 2016, DPRK sent over balloons carrying cigarette butts and other trash, apparently in retaliation for South Korea’s decision to blast K-pop songs across the border via loudspeaker. In 2020, reports surfaced that North Korea introduced a sweeping new law against what it calls “reactionary thought.” Under this law, anyone caught with South Korean entertainment could face severe penalties, including lengthy prison terms or even the death penalty.

Indeed, Kim is so insecure that he can’t handle the idea of his citizens getting a glimpse of the outside world. But sooner or later, the truth will come out, and when it does, all the poop-flinging in the world won’t be enough to save Kim. The people of North Korea deserve better than a leader who would rather engage in petty fights than provide them with basic freedoms and opportunities.