Woman says she had an enlightening emotional affair, then claims it was also beneficial for her husband: ‘You deserve to be loved better’

A TikToker named Dina Elizabeth said a past emotional affair helped her grow and was ultimately good for her ex-husband too. In a TikTok video, she claimed the affair gave her clarity about her marriage to a man she still considers a wonderful partner.

She said right at the start of the video that she knows having an affair was wrong. She claimed her husband was great on paper and took care of her, but that she had lost their emotional connection. According to her, the affair helped her build more emotional intelligence and wisdom.

She said stepping outside the marriage taught her that she was not willing to settle for less than what she wanted. She claimed she is full of joy because of the clarity she gained from that time. She said she is now in a much better place and credited the affair with helping her get there, describing it as a turning point that led to her current happiness.

She still speaks highly of her ex

She also claimed the end of the marriage was a positive outcome for her ex-husband. She said she is no longer dragging along a good man who deserved more than she could give him at the time. “You deserve to be loved better,” she said in reference to him.

She did not paint him as a villain, the way some TikTokers do when they expose a spouse’s alleged affairs. Instead, she highlighted his positive traits while explaining why she could not stay. She appeared to view staying in a marriage after the emotional connection had faded as worse for both of them than leaving.

Whether emotional affairs count as cheating is a question many people answer differently. A HuffPost and YouGov survey of 1,000 US adults found that 60% would consider it cheating if their partner developed a deep emotional connection with someone else, while only 18% said it would not.

Infidelity, whether an emotional connection or an affair with a married coworker, is not uncommon in American marriages. According to General Social Survey data analyzed by the Institute for Family Studies, 20% of men and 13% of women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse while married. Among ever-married adults ages 18 to 29, however, women were slightly more likely than men to report infidelity, at 11% compared with 10%.

The same analysis found that 40% of ever-married adults who had cheated were divorced or separated, compared with 17% of those who stayed faithful. Among women who had cheated, 47% were divorced or separated.