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Donald Trump eyes a Turkey for pardon
Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

‘All that money and still no taste’: Donald Trump’s Mar-A-Lago dinner is straight out of the nursing home

High school cafeterias serve more appetizing meals.

Thanksgiving dinner may be a curiosity to most of the world, but to Americans, it’s serious business. The nation takes great pride in perfectly seasoned green bean casserole, decadent mashed potatoes, and perfectly basted turkey, but even a holiday so beloved for its amazing food fare has a few lackluster presentations.

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In a seamless example of monied people being unable to afford taste — as if those gaudy golden bathrooms weren’t enough proof — Donald Trump‘s Mar-a-Lago turkey day feast left much to the imagination. The 78-year-old leaned into the food of his people and dished up a dinner stacked with reminders on why it’s so important to bring those elderly loved ones home for the holidays.

Donald Trump truly embodied the spirit of Thanksgiving by bashing “Radical Left Lunatics” and hurling around baseless promises to make America “respected, productive, fair, and strong” again. If the plans for America look anything like this soul-draining Thanksgiving dinner, count us out.

President-elect Trump hosted a who’s who of celebrities, politicians, and the mega-wealthy at his Mar-a-Lago resort over the holiday weekend. Attendees ranged from Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who met with Trump to discuss the looming tariff war, to Rocky star Sylvester Stallone. Naturally, Trump invited tech billionaire Elon Musk to join the party, and the Tesla CEO gladly jumped at the opportunity to ditch his 12 kids for the holiday event — though he did bring along his mother, Maye.

But even a cavalcade of respectable people, a membership fee rumored to be around one million bucks, and an alleged dinner price of $350 couldn’t convince notorious cheapskate Trump to whip out the holiday big guns.

It was a real “divorced dads dinner” if the picture is to be believed. Gleeful commenters across the net couldn’t help but hover between shock and delight at the most disgusting dinner found outside of the retirement home.

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The meal is so unappealing it makes TikTok’s many food-related horror stories almost palatable. One user even shared a picture of a $49 plate purchased from a Las Vegas strip club — and honest to God those Mar-a-Lago millionaires should get their money back. Others compared it to hospital food but were immediately shut down by those who declared the comparison an affront to the dietitian-crafted meals.

“It’s the concept of cornbread,” one user said of the blocky chunk of something on the right side of the plate. Indeed, the whole dish looks like the concept of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner — complete with imaginary spices. Across social media, they quickly went for the low-hanging fruit, something the poor Mar-a-Lago guests probably would have preferred.

We know Trump is struggling with money these days, considering he owes nearly half a billion dollars, but the man is still a millionaire. It boggles the mind to see this sorry of a meal served on a plate that goddamned tacky. Trump rakes in somewhere around $700 million a year, so why does this typically extravagant meal look worse than a box dinner?

The whole affair reminded one user of a quote from world-renowned chef Anthony Bourdain. In 2017, while speaking about Trump, Bourdain told The National, “I don’t think he likes food. And from people I know who have had to endure dinner with him, if you enjoy sitting there listening to him talk about himself, you know, great, God bless you.”

Combine that horrific excuse for dinner with Trump forcing Elon Musk to dance along to The Village People’s “YMCA” like some sort of billionaire stooge, and you likely get an evening on par with that one Thanksgiving we’ve all reluctantly sat through. At least the rest of us got a decent meal made with love and maybe even a few spices.


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Author
Image of Ash Martinez
Ash Martinez
Ash has been obsessed with Star Wars and video games since she was old enough to hold a lightsaber. It’s with great delight that she now utilizes this deep lore professionally as a Freelance Writer for We Got This Covered. Leaning on her Game Design degree from Bradley University, she brings a technical edge to her articles on the latest video games. When not writing, she can be found aggressively populating virtual worlds with trees.