Apple CEO Tim Cook joins host of fellow billionaires in donating to Donald Trump’s second inaugural fund

In another case of billionaires behaving badly (as they so often do), Apple CEO Tim Cook reportedly has plans to donate $1 million to the inaugural committee of Donald Trump. 

That’s right, rather than fixing whatever the heck the new iOS update is, Cook is donating the eye-watering sum (which for him is probably just pocket change) to the body in charge of the president-elect’s inauguration. The inaugural committee — now sitting pretty on a mountain of cash — will organize both the ceremony and its related activities, with the date of that fated day slated for later this month. 

Barring any interruptions (you know, like a Trump-led insurrection), the president-elect will take the oath of office for his second term on Jan. 20, now with at least $1 million extra to spend on inviting musical guests who almost certainly won’t perform. In any case, Cook’s contribution is somewhat expected, since the billionaire last month dined with Trump at what is now basically the second White House; Mar-a-Lago. That dinner (in which Trump probably ordered McDonald’s) adds on to Cook’s previous meetings with Trump during his first term, with the pair reportedly having many phone calls and sharing meals on multiple occasions. 

Sadly, Cook isn’t the only high-flyer who’s Cook[ed] it (sorry) with his donations, with a host of fellow billionaires contributing to Trump’s second inaugural fund in the past few weeks. Ken Griffin, CEO of the hedge fund company Citadel, also reportedly intends to donate $1 million, and so too does Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, OpenAI’s Sam Altman and the Mark Zuckerberg-owned Meta. Since these members of my nightmare blunt rotation are throwing money around like hotcakes, could you help a sister out? I just winced after buying a morning coffee, so I’ll take $999,994, if that’s easier. 

With all that cash, Trump’s second inaugural fund is projected to rake in more than $150 million, breaking the previous fund record of $107 million, which was set in 2017 by… you guessed it, friend of billionaires Donald Trump. I’m not too sure how well that paid off, since Trump’s first inauguration (jump scare) drew in record low crowd numbers and featured a performance by someone called… Jackie Evancho? Anyway, this kind of support from the C-suite class is no surprise, since Trump has made a name for himself as perhaps the only billionaire who treats spelling and punctuation as more of a suggestion. 

The president-elect has surrounded himself with billionaires in recent months, spearheaded by X owner and jumpy McJumpjump Elon Musk. In a sentence that still boggles the mind, the world’s richest man even has a place in Trump’s advisorial orbit, as the co-head of the newly created Department of Government Efficiency. For extra measure, that department is also being led by billionaire Vivek Ramaswamy, but they aren’t the only two deep-pocketed figures with their fingers in the Trump pie (yuck, sorry). 

Also in Trump’s second administration is investment banker Howard Lutnick, venture capitalist and North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum and wrestling magnate Linda McMahon, all of whom are billionaires. For those keeping track, the combined wealth of those three names and Ramaswamy exceeds $340 billion, which is larger than the gross domestic product of 11 dozen countries, according to The Independent. You don’t need to be a fan of The White Lotus to know the kind of mayhem that occurs when that many rich people congregate. Hint, it ain’t good.