George Santos admits how he and his poor choices sleep at night while teasing the last thing America needs

In the dead of night, most folks might fret over the mundane — unanswered emails, the day’s missteps, or why their dog insists on sleeping horizontally on the bed. George Santos, however, has grander miseries to wrestle with…

…like the nagging regret of never making it to a Diddy party. But strange as it may seem,  the disgraced former congressman claims his sleepless nights are filled with heavier woes. Over on X, he aired out his soul, discussing his regrets, prayers, and his so-called “contributions” to Congress.

Hold on a minute, George. Let’s not gloss over the fact that you allegedly funneled campaign funds into your own personal vanity projects, like Botox injections and OnlyFans purchases, and who knows what else. 

Lest we forget, Santos was unceremoniously booted from Congress in January 2021, following a scathing investigation by the House Ethics Committee. They caught him red-handed, splurging donor dollars on personal pleasures and playing fast and loose with credit cards from contributors. Santos rightfully earned his spot as one of the six representatives in U.S. history to be expelled amid such disgrace. 

To add to his list of accolades, Santos has been accused of fabricating nearly every part of his life story — from heroic family tales related to the Holocaust and 9/11, to his involvement with a tragic mass shooting. On Aug. 19, he pleaded guilty to aggravated identity theft and wire fraud, facing up to 20 years in prison. Yet, he still finds the gall to lament over governmental operations as if he ever contributed positively. 

Reacting to his ludicrous statements, one user on X wittily commented:

When your political career is in the toilet, you might as well flush. But perhaps this crude advice should indeed be considered seriously, as it appears to have been the secret to enduring the long, tedious hours in court — just ask another convicted felon, who reputedly managed his courtroom boredom with similar tactics, leading to an environment so noxious that only sketches could capture the scene, not photographs. 

And it’s hard to keep a straight face, especially when Santos hints at a presidential run. “I never say never,” he claims. Just because he’s gathered more followers than a rat fan club doesn’t mean he’s ready to take on the Oompa Loompa himself. 

And yet, who knows? Maybe Santos will shock us all and actually make good on his threat to run for the highest office in the land. If recent elections have taught us anything, it’s that the American electorate is full of surprises. But for now, while the wheels of justice may turn at a glacial pace, they’re inexorably turning and creeping closer to a custom-fitted orange jumpsuit with “Santos” emblazoned on the back. And when that glorious day finally arrives, Santos will have plenty of time to reflect on his misdeeds and cook up his next grand delusion.