The famed “special relationship” between the United States of America and the United Kingdom has turned toxic. In the not-too-distant past the two nations were firm allies, putting up a united front on the world stage. Now, in the second era of Donald Trump, that partnership is outright abusive.
The U.K. needs the U.S.A. far more than the U.S.A. needs the U.K. and the Trump administration not only knows it, but is willing to put pressure on the British government to do its bidding. Right now things are looking shaky: on the plus side, British Prime Minister Keir Starmer seems to have charmed Trump with a royal invitation, with Trump hinting that the country may be spared tariffs. On the negative side, Trump foreign policy is entirely at odds with the U.K., particularly over NATO funding, Russia’s war in Ukraine, and general European defense strategy.
The British government is currently steeling itself for a humiliating process of bowing and scraping to Trump and his cronies, and their most powerful tool is the Royal Family. Within that, there’s one man they’re calling the country’s “secret weapon” in the love-bombing of Trump, and he’s doubtless rubbing his sweaty hands together at the chance of being back in the limelight when the president’s U.K. visit takes place.
I am, of course, talking about everyone’s least favorite walking PR disaster, Prince Andrew. He and Trump have a ton in common, from their mutual friendship with Jeffrey Epstein to a history of being accused of sexual assault by young women to their cast-iron egotistical belief that they’ve never done a thing wrong in their lives. Also, they both like golf! Who better to schmooze Trump than Andrew?
Even better, they’ve crossed paths before and partied together. In 2000 People Magazine ran a story on Andrew’s New York party life, excitedly saying he’d been seen “squiring Ghislaine Maxwell, 38, the daughter of the late newspaper magnate Robert Maxwell” (huh, wonder how that turned out?). Trump was present at the party and raved about Andrew’s company: “He’s not pretentious. He’s a lot of fun to be with!”
Royal experts are horrified at the possibility that Andrew could be released from containment. An interviewer for The Sun asked royal journalist Robert Jobson about the idea of Andrew as a “secret weapon” and he spluttered in response: “I think he’ll be kept a long way away from that.”
But the chips are down for the U.K. and, while Trump may be friendly with Charles and enamored with William, he’s famously mercurial with his affections. As such, there may well come a time soon when Andrew will get the phone call he’s been anticipating for years and is officially pressed back into service as the nation’s official Trump whisperer.
Yes, the British public (and the world) would be disgusted at Prince Andrew slithering back into the limelight from his moldy royal hovel, but everyone knows Trump could economically destroy the post-Brexit U.K. with a flick of his executive pen. Better have someone on standby with the unique skills of being able to relate to prolific sexual abusers and engage in crass chit-chat on the green. Randy Andy, the last chapter in your story might not be written just yet.
Published: Mar 6, 2025 06:52 am