Image Credit: Disney
Forgot password
Enter the email address you used when you joined and we'll send you instructions to reset your password.
If you used Apple or Google to create your account, this process will create a password for your existing account.
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
Reset password instructions sent. If you have an account with us, you will receive an email within a few minutes.
Something went wrong. Try again or contact support if the problem persists.
Republican presidential nominee former U.S. President Donald Trump speaks at the Israeli American Council National Summit at the Washington Hilton on September 19, 2024 in Washington, DC. Trump addressed the pro-Israel conference, stating that if he is not elected president Israel will be “eradicated” within two years.
Photo by Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

‘Something is really wrong with this psychopath’: In Donald Trump’s tiny creepy brain, women are unhealthy and unhappy without him and can only daydream about abortion

For him, all these abortion-obsessed creatures can do is await his "yuuge" return.

The misogynistic dumpster fire known as Donald Trump has a critical announcement for America’s women. And you better believe it’s earth-shattering because he screamed it in ALL CAPS!

Recommended Videos

Regaling us with the tale of Haitian immigrants hosting Michelin-starred pet-meat feasts — yes, dogs, cats, and presumably even goldfish if we follow the logic of his culinary xenophobia — to his rallies putting MLK Jr.’s to shame (despite Trump waving to non-existent crowds), Trump has never moved from his fantastical claims. In between verbal switcheroos involving electric boats and sharks and pondering whether he was hotter now or before (spoiler alert: neither), the tangerine tyrant is now accusing Democrats of advocating for the “execution of babies after birth.”

In the same breath, he promises that women, who are apparently “depressed and unhappy” under the current administration, will be frolicking in a post-abortion wonderland once he’s back in the Oval Office. Trump, smugly taking credit for eviscerating Roe v. Wade and ripping away women’s bodily autonomy, now has the audacity to claim that he will “PROTECT WOMEN AT A LEVEL NEVER SEEN BEFORE.” In a frenzied Truth Social post, the caps lock connoisseur shrieked about women being poorer, less safe, less optimistic, and more depressed than four years ago. Just ask Marjorie Taylor Greene, who’s reportedly so depressed over Trump’s nosediving 2024 chances that she’s resorted to rage-blowing up cars in her downtime.

Clearly, Trump believes he has his tiny hands firmly grasping the pulse of American womanhood, as he unveils a bulletproof scheme to “FIX ALL OF THAT, AND FAST.” Once he’s back on his gilded throne, women will be so euphoric they won’t even remember what abortion is, thanks to the Orange Overlord leaving it up to the states to decide. Problem solved! Except, of course, for the minor detail that his loyal lapdog, Viper Vance, previously hinted that Trump would gleefully rubber-stamp a nationwide abortion ban. But consistency is for losers, right?

Naturally, no Trump diatribe would be finished without a preposterous accusation. Cue his claim that Democrats demand “EXECUTION OF A BABY AFTER BIRTH.” This might just be Trump’s most colossal lie yet, surpassing even his delusion that he, not Newton, uncovered gravity by watching his approval ratings plummet. But hey, he did once boast about having “MIT genes,” so who are we to doubt his mastery of, well, everything?

In truth, Trump’s caps lock catastrophe reads more like a pathetic plea for female voters’ attention. As Vice President Kamala Harris relentlessly pummels him on reproductive rights, Trump appears to be flailing wildly to salvage his image with women. Despite the nationwide abortion ban bluff, the flip-flopper-in-chief later moonwalked back on that stance during the ABC News debate.

Perhaps this abrupt fixation on women’s welfare is merely a smokescreen to dazzle his new “Cleopatra,” who has morphed into Trump’s ever-present shadow at rallies, debates, and even grim memorials. However, the guerrilla journalist should take a page from Olivia Nuzzi’s misadventures with RFK Jr. and realize that danger often lurks behind coquettish glances and whispered sweet nothings.


We Got This Covered is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more about our Affiliate Policy
Author
Image of Omar Faruque
Omar Faruque
Omar is a seasoned writer specializing in all things entertainment. His approach to life and writing is the same: find the story in everything, and make sure to enjoy the ride. When not behind his keyboard, Omar is living his best life, whether that's channeling his inner superhero, trying to replicate anime recipes in his kitchen, or settling into his favorite coffee shop corner with a good book.