12) Public humiliation is the sweetest form of revenge
So Roger Sterling’s tried to put the moves on your wife – do you confront him? No, of course not. That wouldn’t be anywhere near elaborate enough. You’re going to take him out, drink him under the table, and force him to walk up countless flights of stairs so you can gleefully watch him vomit in front of the whole office. It also makes for a sweet gif.
Wanna show Ted who’s really boss around the office? Heavily imply his and Peggy’s affair in a meeting with a valuable set of clients. On top of Ted’s glorious look of horror, there’s the added bonus of taking Peggy down a few… pegs – more on that later.
11) Alcoholism is the foundation of all existence ever ever ever
You have never known a sweeter mistress than the Good Lady Booze, and you’ve had your way with a fair few others. This is the Don way, if you weren’t pissing pure grain alcohol by the age of 10, you’re just not going to cut it. Sorry about that.
You’re pretty sure you came out of the womb plastered, but near constant drunkenness hasn’t stopped you from becoming an advertising God, chiseled genius and father to three emotionally stunted children – all hallmarks of a true badass.
