When the bachelor himself, Joey Graziadei, told Lexi Young — with whom he had an unforgettably romantic date — that he hopes to be married in two to three years, he didn’t expect it to scare her off the show. However, it’s basically what happened on episode 6 of season 28 of The Bachelor.
The most surprising thing about Lexi’s departure it is that she is an emotionally mature woman with a lot to offer and the type of woman that any man would be extremely fortunate to be with. So, what were her reasons for not wanting to wait to get married?
Overwhelmingly, her reason to not stick around — as she respectfully expressed to Joey — is that she suffers from endometriosis, a gynecological condition that affects fertility, and can hurt her chances of becoming pregnant and carrying a pregnancy to term, among other chronic complications. So, after their memorable one-on-one date in Malta earlier in the season, she spoke with Joey about what his timeline is for marriage. That’s when Joey expressed his desire that a wedding day would occur in two years, perhaps three. For what it’s worth, Joey is 28 and Lexi is 30, so if you see some posts on social media claiming it’s an “age thing,” then just ignore them (though for other reasons, age has been an oddly dramatic topic this season).
Although Lexi never specified what exactly her own timeline is, she made it seem that she wanted to marry before the next new moon. She later noted, “You can’t make someone ready for something that they’re not, and he doesn’t need to be ready for that right now.”
Right now?
So, was Lexi expecting the show to end with an almost-immediate marriage? It seemed so. Keep in mind, these two just met each other about a month earlier, which was one moon ago for those keeping track. Joey seemed level-headed and knows that, because they just met, dating for two years is more than reasonable even under the guise of an engagement. It could be disastrous to know someone for a couple months, get engaged, quickly marry, then realize in a year they are not who you thought they were. The chances of that realization happening greatly increases when you’re initially getting to know that someone on a reality show while the man is dating other women. The show’s own success rate — or lack thereof — for a long lasting relationship effectively reveals that happening.
Perhaps, considering Lexi’s timeline, she chose the wrong relationship reality show. She would’ve been better suited to be on Married At First Sight than The Bachelor.
Although I respect Lexi knowing what she wants, and never using her wishes as a negative towards someone else, I think she may have sold herself short here. Leaving a man who wants to potentially marry you — he even stated “I could see her as my wife” — in two years because you want to be married sooner can be counterproductive. In other words, I think it will likely take her longer than two years to find a man who wants to get married and have children as soon as possible. It should be noted that she even revealed her previous boyfriend left her because of her condition, whereas Joey seemed supportive and open to trying to start a family with her in the future.
Unfortunately, Lexi might soon learn that finding an express lane husband is not easy — unless he himself has something to hide.
Perhaps realizing that afterwards, Lexi even wondered aloud if she did the right thing. “I didn’t want to say goodbye to him so then I questioned, ‘Did I make the right decision?’”
I suspect that there could be another unspoken reason for her departure, which was simply that she didn’t develop strong enough feelings for Joey. That’s just a complete assumption on my part based strictly on her decision to leave, but if she really had strong feelings for him, then would she just leave to find another man, regardless of her desired timeline for motherhood? Also, telling him he’s not the one could be much more hurtful and this could be a situation where Lexi, who truly seems like an amazing person, could have been letting him down in a different way without wanting to embarrass him on national television.
One note of intrigue that has been shared on social media is that Lexi never mentioned to Joey that she had undergone an oocyte extraction and cryopreservation procedure — or as it’s more colloquially known, she had eggs extracted, then frozen. She had publicly revealed this on her own Instagram before the show started airing, but didn’t include this detail — as far as the audience knows, anyway — in discussing her timeline with Joey. This struck some viewers as odd, as having eggs already frozen might seem to give her some breathing room in her timeline. However, freezing eggs doesn’t guarantee later childbirth — in fact, the success rate per egg is very low, so this may be why it didn’t figure into her mentality. Furthermore, women with endometriosis are under greater threat of serious pregnancy-related health risks beyond just difficulty conceiving, including higher rates of preeclampsia, hypertension, and gestational diabetes, which are also correlated with maternal age, so that may all factor into her thinking.
Is there another twist in her story, though?
I’ve watched a fair amount of these Bachelor seasons, and it’s not completely unusual for someone to want to come back, especially if it was originally their decision to leave the show. So, considering she already questioned her decision, is there a chance she returns? Well, there is definitely a chance, and if you watched one of the promos a couple weeks ago, then you can clearly see that Joey does indeed receive a letter from someone asking if she can come back to the show. Is it Lexi? Perhaps.
If not, then I hope she finds her perfect man and lives happily ever after with him… and their kids.
