Don’t sleep on the bachelor.
Zach Shallcross, whose on-screen The Bachelor persona can be described as “a gentleman who makes puzzling decisions,” has done it yet again. Shallcross, who basically had a no-drama policy only to realize such policies don’t actually prevent drama, announced to his final three ladies that he also has a no-sex policy for the show. Yes, it gets as bad as you think it would.
His reasons are admirable. He explained to them that since he’ll choose who to propose to in just a week, he doesn’t want his future fiancée to have to deal with the fact that he slept with two other women recently. Sounds like a thoughtful plan.
However, as Shallcross has learned on this show, many of his plans don’t actually consider how the women involved might feel about them, and, in this case, they weren’t exactly thrilled.
In an attempt to forestall drama earlier in the season, whenever one of the women would express anything at all that wasn’t to Zach’s liking — Jess wanting to see him more, for example — Zach would just send them home, a tactic that former bachelor Nick Viall even called him out on as befitting a “total di**!”
Zach also had a truly bizarre moment while he was out sick with COVID. During a video chat with Greer, she tried to relate to him by briefly talking about how she, too, had suffered from COVID, to which Zach responded by rebuffing her, asserting that his COVID was far more dire, because it interrupted a very important mission — i.e., finding his future wife. Apparently, her suggestion that her experience of COVID is comparable to his earned her a scolding that brought her to tears. After the episode aired, to be fair, he expressed regret over his reaction.
So much for no-drama, hey?
From no-drama to no-sex, Shallcross just kept creating the most breakable rules possible. In regards to his anti-intimacy policy —partly triggered because it was Fantasy Suite week — he first told Ariel about the no-sex rule, and she seemingly tried to (slightly) tempt him into thinking otherwise, albeit respectfully. However, Zach somehow managed to stand his ground. Then, the next day, he told Gabi, who also wasn’t happy about it, but later on that night, nature apparently took its course anyway. Did Zach regret his intimate night with Gabi? Of course not. In fact, when Zach was supposed to go on his date with Kaity, he hopped back over to see Gabi first, he was so giddy about their night together. The giddy-for-Gabi bachelor also decided to tell her that he was falling in love with her. Funny how that works.
But he saved the best for last. Kaity, who many think Zach will choose as his fiancée, sat in the jungle listening first to Zach explain his no-sex rule, then explain that he broke his own rule, then explain who he broke the rule with, and then… well, we’re not sure what the point of telling Kaity this was, and quite obviously, neither was Kaity. For that matter, Zach later seemed fairly annoyed at himself for being so honest with Kaity, who for her part, informed him she didn’t want to hear about what happened on any of his other Fantasy Suite dates. Ultimately, she was able to maintain equilibrium and stay positive, though Zach admitted to foolish oversharing.
Despite the obvious connection between the two, Zach saved his rule-breaking strictly for Gabi, who then became understandably disappointed when she realized that Zach didn’t exactly keep their intimate night a secret. So, the rule maker becomes the rule breaker, and then adds to it by breaking even the unwritten rules. The Zach attack is back!
After the three dates, Zach was forced to choose who to send home. Despite his no-drama policy earlier in the season — and his inability to realize he’s the policy’s most serious offender — Zach eliminated the least dramatic woman of the three, demonstrating that when a woman plays according to Zach’s rules, she goes home. So Ariel was sent home, and then proceeded to deliver the single most respectful and mature goodbye in The Bachelor history, which must have made Zach second-guess how he could let such a stoic, classy, and dignified woman go. Then again, she didn’t have sex with him and thus break his no-sex policy, so how could Zach keep such a woman around?! How dare she heed his words.
And then there were two.
Next week, Zach will allegedly propose to one of them. We assume it will be Kaity, not necessarily because she is the other girl he didn’t have sex with, but because they seem to have the best overall connection. However, we’re not entirely sure if Zach will introduce a new rule that will ultimately bring a twist to the finale dance.
We suggest a no-rule policy, but we hope that whatever happens, Zach finds happiness with a rule-breaking woman of his own choosing.
