‘Come out and play’: Furious neighbor turns into an absolute crazy man when he blames woman for landing him a parking ticket

Whoever came up with the term “neighborly” (i.e. to be helpful, friendly, and kind) had to be the single most optimistic individual of their time, because neighbors can be your worst nightmare come to life and the embodiment of the dregs of humanity.

Unfortunately for one poor lady on TikTok, the short straw seems to have been drawn in the neighbor department, and poking that particular bear is all you need to create a situation that’s somehow utterly terrifying and profoundly hilarious (and yes, there’s a joke to be made in tandem with the phrase “poking the bear,” and you will be getting no such joke here).

Distributed by @hopeschulist167843, the background info we’re given indicates that Tara, the lady in question, called the police about an illegal parking job, after which the guilty party (the neighbor) was issued a parking ticket.

Well, her neighbor certainly wasn’t having any of that, and promptly marched up to her door and began hammering furiously, shouting such mad-dog nonsense as “come out and play” in hopes of riling up Tara’s combative side. He also insisted on goading her by referring to her as “girl,” threatening her property, and making threats about “getting her” and “it’s war.” Indeed, most of us wish we could be this passionate about anything at all, and this man has found his motivation in a parking ticket.

It bears mentioning, of course, that we don’t know how severe of a parking job this man served up to Tara’s line of sight. Was it worthy of a police call? We can’t say for sure, but we know for certain that this man’s reaction was out of control.

And he’s just the latest in the @hopeschulist167843 mythology; the account’s user page documents incident after incident of neighbors behaving poorly. Perhaps they’re amassing an army of bad neighbors in hopes of taking on a homeowner association in some good old-fashioned mutually-assured destruction. One can only hope.

In any case, friction between neighbors, even if it’s not as explosive as this, is still relatively common. According to LendingTree.com, 73 percent of Americans dislike at least one of their neighbors, while 11 percent have relocated specifically due to disliking a neighbor. Suffice to say that Tara and Mr. Come Out and Play are the “at least one” for either of them.

Moral of the story? If your goal in life is to become worthy of a restraining order whilst making a complete and utter fool of yourself all in a single move; unironically quote The Warriors at the top of your lungs to your neighbor behind her door.