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Donald Trump dancing like a buffoon at a Wilmington, NC rally
Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

‘I would vote for Donald Trump’: The internet’s most unhinged influencer endorses Trump despite not being able to vote

The best part? He can't vote.

You know Donald Trump is getting desperate when he has to count on the endorsement of an influencer whose own country and field industry want nothing to do with him.

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The former one-term, twice-impeached president could have once counted on his tired rhetoric and fear-mongering to rope in disgruntled conservatives, but that populist well of fallacious ideas is rapidly drying up. He could have once hoped for a few of his GOP toadies to give him a much-needed boost in the polls, but even that is a non-starter thanks to his vicious track record in the White House. And so, a mere two months away from Election Day, the despairing wannabe fascist now has to content himself with the endorsement of a small influencer who has made a name for himself by recommending fragrances, of all things, on social media.

Jeremy Fragrance (yes, that’s actually what he calls himself) is a German media personality who rose to fame due to his eccentricity when introducing and commenting on fragrances and perfumes. He is also one of those alpha-male, pretend-guru types always pushing men to break free from “the Matrix” and reclaim their manhood. You know, the type that is almost certainly guaranteed to find themselves in the far-right camp, and convert to any one of the trendy religions out there to reinforce their bigoted ideas of how the world should work.

You might think that’s just a stereotype, and I know it’s a bad habit to pre-emptively judge someone, but look up Fragrance’s name and you’ll see that I’m going easy on the guy. Jeremy has actually got into trouble with perfume companies in Germany for associating with far-right leaders, so it isn’t surprising that he ultimately found himself in the Trump camp. What is incredibly amusing, however, is that Jeremy wants to vote for Trump, if he could, only because he “enjoys that he mentions God and Christianity.” Do you know what would’ve made the routine even more hackneyed? If Jeremy somehow managed to slip in a shot of himself holding the Bible up — oh look, he did. He actually, genuinely, unironically did.

I wonder if these people realize that Trump only ever touches the Book of God when standing trial in a court of law ⏤ or, you know, when he’s blasphemously trying to sell USA-themed Bibles to pay off his legal fees. Of course, the Con Don is more than grateful to accept any help at this point, because even if he outwardly remains in denial about his dwindling crowd sizes, he can’t quite ignore the fact that he’s falling further and further behind in the polls as we draw nearer to Nov. 5. But then, he could always incite another insurrection and claim the election has been stolen, right?

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Author
Image of Jonathan Wright
Jonathan Wright
Jonathan is a religious consumer of movies, TV shows, video games, and speculative fiction. And when he isn't doing that, he likes to write about them. He can get particularly worked up when talking about 'The Lord of the Rings' or 'A Song of Ice and Fire' or any work of high fantasy, come to think of it.