‘You never believed you were good enough’: Liam Payne’s elder sister laments ‘love’ her brother never received as she shares ‘things to tell Liam’

The One Direction fame Liam Payne‘s death has shocked his close friends and family beyond healing. One of his elder sisters, Ruth, recently penned a long letter to her late brother in heaven, bringing the internet to tears again.

Oct. 16, 2024, was a heartbreaking day for all One Directioners as we lost one of our beloved idols who shaped our childhood and music taste. On the evening of Oct. 16, Liam Payne tragically fell to his death from the third-floor balcony of CasaSur Palermo Hotel while on vacation in Buenos Aires, Argentina. He was only 31 at the time of his death — all our pain pales when compared to the grief of his parents and older sisters, to whom Payne was more than just a musical icon.

In an Instagram post on Oct. 19, one of Liam’s two elder sisters, Ruth, expressed her disbelief and sorrow over the incident, writing “I don’t believe this is happening.” She began her long letter pondering over how she has often poured her heart out publicly with pride about Liam but “never much about life as his sister.” What came next left the internet sobbing for Ruth’s suffering in this difficult time and the life Payne led.

“Liam is my best friend, noone could ever make me laugh as much as him, doing his impressions always had me creasing and he loved seeing how much of a laugh he could get.”

Remembering Liam’s journey from being a teenager with big dreams to becoming one of the most beloved stars of his era and how it all helped Ruth grow in her own space.

Ruth was always a close part of his routines. “I used to love picking him up from work,” she recalled. The two would then speed away and Liam would show her new songs for albums. She also wrote about Liam’s love for One Direction, mentioning how they would sit in their car and have a “mini 1D concert” playing unreleased songs by the group.

Ruth also always made sure to include Liam in her life. But whenever he was working away for a while, she revealed how she would keep notes on her phone titled “things to tell Liam” to update him when he’s back. Heartbreakingly, Ruth exclaimed, “I suppose it’s only right I tell him now.” Her note began,

“Liam, My Brian is struggling to catch up with what’s happening and I don’t understand where you’ve gone. I just want to drive to your house and walk in to music blasting and find you sat there writing a song or walk in to your art phases and sit with you whilst you draw or craft.”

She then continued by telling him all the things she loved about him, especially his ability to make her laugh, his kindness, and how he makes “great Sunday dinners.” Lamenting on how the way things turned out wasn’t right, she wrote,

“I don’t feel this world was good enough or kind enough to you, and quite often over the last few years you’ve had to really try hard to overcome all that was being aimed at you. You just wanted to be loved and make people happy with your music.”

Ruth then revealed how Liam never believed he was good enough, but she now hopes he can see “this outpouring of love that you never received in your time.” She also thanked Liam for everything and promised to take care of his son, Bear. “He will always know how incredible his Dad is and how much you idolize him.”

In the heartbreaking endnotes, Ruth exclaimed “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” and “One last time I need you to know, I’m here if you need anything, I’d drive to the end of the universe to bring you back.” Her pain is unimaginable at this time, and while she is seeing the ugly side of media as baseless rumors about her brother’s death makes headlines, we hope she finds some solace in the fact that his fans do love him as they have been leaving positive, heartfelt notes on her post. And wherever Liam is, we’re sure he’s looking over his sister.